{"id":118937,"date":"2020-01-16T08:25:59","date_gmt":"2020-01-16T05:25:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/arantv.az\/?p=118937"},"modified":"2020-01-16T08:25:59","modified_gmt":"2020-01-16T05:25:59","slug":"6-ildir-%c9%99rimin-ikinci-arvadiyam","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/?p=118937","title":{"rendered":"\u201c6 ildir \u0259rimin ikinci arvad\u0131yam”"},"content":{"rendered":"

“6 ildir evli ki\u015fi il\u0259 dini nikahla ya\u015fay\u0131ram, onun ikinci h\u0259yat yolda\u015f\u0131yam. Yolda\u015f\u0131m s\u00fcr\u00fcc\u00fcd\u00fcr. Az-\u00e7ox qazand\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 iki ail\u0259si aras\u0131nda b\u00f6l\u00fcr. Naraz\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131m yoxdu. Amma m\u0259n\u0259 \u00e7ox az zaman ay\u0131r\u0131r. Bu il bir \u00f6vlad\u0131m da d\u00fcnyaya g\u0259lib. B\u0259db\u0259xt deyil\u0259m, amma sevdiyini payla\u015fmaq \u00e7\u0259tindir. \u0130st\u0259rdim o, t\u0259k m\u0259nim olsun. Amma ail\u0259sini d\u0259 da\u011f\u0131tmaram”, – deyir 27 ya\u015fl\u0131 \u0130lah\u0259 N\u0259biyeva. ARANTV.AZ<\/strong> lent.az-a istinad\u0259n bildirir ki, ba\u015f\u0131na g\u0259l\u0259nl\u0259ri \u0130lah\u0259 ilk d\u0259f\u0259 17 ya\u015f\u0131nda ail\u0259 qurub. Daha do\u011frusu, sevdiyi o\u011flana qo\u015fulub qa\u00e7\u0131b. Bir ild\u0259n sonra is\u0259 \u0259ri \u0130lah\u0259ni t\u0259rk edib. Valideynl\u0259rinin \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 baxa bilm\u0259diyi \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn do\u011fuldu\u011fu rayona yox, Bak\u0131ya g\u0259lib v\u0259 kafel\u0259rin birind\u0259 ofisiant kimi \u00e7al\u0131\u015fma\u011fa ba\u015flay\u0131b. El\u0259 R\u0259\u015fadla da kafed\u0259 tan\u0131\u015f olub. R\u0259\u015fad evli v\u0259 iki \u00f6vlad\u0131 oldu\u011funu ondan gizl\u0259tm\u0259yib. Kiray\u0259 ev tutaraq, k\u0259bin k\u0259sdir\u0259r\u0259k onunla ya\u015fama\u011fa ba\u015flay\u0131b.<\/p>\n

\u0130lah\u0259 deyir ki, R\u0259\u015fada he\u00e7 vaxt x\u0259yan\u0259t etm\u0259yib: “B\u0259zi gec\u0259l\u0259r olur ki, \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc t\u0259nha hiss edir\u0259m. M\u0259n d\u0259 ist\u0259rdim normal ail\u0259m olsun. Amma neyniyim, Allah m\u0259n\u0259 bel\u0259 qism\u0259t yaz\u0131b”.<\/p>\n

M\u00fcasir d\u00f6vrd\u0259 texnoloji yenilikl\u0259r v\u0259 sosial \u015f\u0259b\u0259k\u0259l\u0259rin h\u0259yat\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n bir par\u00e7as\u0131na \u00e7evrilm\u0259si insanlar\u0131n bir-biril\u0259 \u00fcnsiyy\u0259t v\u0259 m\u00fcnasib\u0259t qurmas\u0131n\u0131 daha da asanla\u015fd\u0131r\u0131b. Bunun n\u0259tic\u0259si kimi evli ola-ola sevgilisi olan insanlar\u0131n say\u0131nda k\u0259skin \u015f\u0259kild\u0259 art\u0131mlar m\u00fc\u015fahid\u0259 olunma\u011fa ba\u015flay\u0131b. B\u0259s evli ki\u015fi il\u0259 yasaq m\u00fcnasib\u0259t ya\u015fama\u011f\u0131n \u00e7\u0259tinlikl\u0259ri v\u0259 s\u0131x\u0131nt\u0131lar\u0131 n\u0259l\u0259rdir? Ail\u0259li ki\u015fil\u0259rl\u0259 birlikd\u0259 olan qad\u0131nlar hans\u0131 hissl\u0259ri ke\u00e7irirl\u0259r?<\/p>\n

Bu tip qad\u0131nlar\u0131n davran\u0131\u015f\u0131n\u0131n alt\u0131nda bir ne\u00e7\u0259 s\u0259b\u0259b yat\u0131r ki, bunlar da \u00f6zl\u00fcy\u00fcnd\u0259 qad\u0131n\u0131 evli ki\u015fi il\u0259 m\u00fcnasib\u0259t qurma\u011fa s\u00f6vq edir. Bu s\u0259b\u0259bl\u0259r\u0259 sevgi, pul, m\u0259cburiyy\u0259t, seks ist\u0259yi v\u0259 g\u00fcc\u00fc aid etm\u0259k olar.<\/p>\n

M\u00fct\u0259x\u0259ssisl\u0259rin fikrinc\u0259, evli ki\u015fi il\u0259 birlikd\u0259 olan qad\u0131nlar\u0131n h\u0259yat\u0131nda k\u0259d\u0259r, \u00fcz\u00fcnt\u00fc, yalanlar, q\u0131sqancl\u0131qlar, dava-dala\u015flar \u0259skik olmur. Bunun s\u0259b\u0259bi is\u0259 ki\u015finin sevgilisi il\u0259 m\u00fcnasib\u0259tini h\u0259yat yolda\u015f\u0131ndan bo\u015fanmadan davam etdirm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmas\u0131d\u0131r.<\/p>\n

Psixoloq R\u00f6v\u015f\u0259n H\u00fcmb\u0259tovun s\u00f6zl\u0259rin\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259, evli ki\u015fi il\u0259 m\u00fcnasib\u0259t quran qad\u0131n ilk n\u00f6vb\u0259d\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 bu suallar\u0131 verm\u0259lidir – “Bu adam yolda\u015f\u0131na yalan dan\u0131\u015f\u0131b m\u0259niml\u0259 birlikd\u0259 olursa, dem\u0259k, n\u0259 vaxtsa m\u0259n\u0259 d\u0259 yalan s\u00f6yl\u0259m\u0259 ehtimal\u0131 var. Yox, \u0259g\u0259r yolda\u015f\u0131n\u0131 sevmirs\u0259 v\u0259 ona g\u00f6r\u0259 m\u0259niml\u0259 birlikd\u0259dirs\u0259, o zaman n\u0259y\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 ondan ayr\u0131l\u0131b, rahat \u015f\u0259kild\u0259 m\u0259niml\u0259 m\u00fcnasib\u0259t qurmur?”. Psixoloq deyir ki, Az\u0259rbaycan c\u0259miyy\u0259tind\u0259 \u0259sas\u0259n evli ki\u015fi il\u0259 birlikd\u0259 olan qad\u0131nlar\u0131 g\u00fcnahland\u0131r\u0131b, q\u0131naq obyektin\u0259 \u00e7evirirl\u0259r: “Amma h\u0259qiq\u0259t ki\u015finin evli olmas\u0131d\u0131r, y\u0259ni ail\u0259li olan v\u0259 yolda\u015f\u0131na sadiq qalaca\u011f\u0131na s\u00f6z ver\u0259n t\u0259r\u0259f ki\u015fidir. Evli ki\u015fi il\u0259 birlikd\u0259 olan qad\u0131n\u0131n is\u0259 dig\u0259r qad\u0131na qar\u015f\u0131 he\u00e7 bir m\u0259suliyy\u0259ti yoxdur. Bunu yaln\u0131z ki\u015fil\u0259r\u0259 aid olan bir v\u0259ziyy\u0259t kimi d\u0259y\u0259rl\u0259ndirm\u0259k d\u0259 d\u00fczg\u00fcn olmaz. Evli qad\u0131nla birlikd\u0259 olan ki\u015fil\u0259rd\u0259 d\u0259 v\u0259ziyy\u0259t eyni c\u00fcrd\u00fcr. Y\u0259ni evli biri il\u0259 m\u00fcnasib\u0259t\u0259 gir\u0259nin ki\u015fi v\u0259 ya qad\u0131n olmas\u0131 v\u0259ziyy\u0259ti d\u0259yi\u015fmir”.<\/p>\n

B\u0259s evli ki\u015fil\u0259rl\u0259 qad\u0131nlar\u0131n m\u00fcnasib\u0259ti nec\u0259 ba\u015flay\u0131r?<\/p>\n

Psixoanaliz n\u0259z\u0259riyy\u0259sin\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259, atas\u0131 t\u0259r\u0259find\u0259n t\u0259rk edilmi\u015f, \u00f6zg\u00fcv\u0259n \u0259skikliyi il\u0259 b\u00f6y\u00fcm\u00fc\u015f qad\u0131nlar \u00f6zl\u0259rini t\u0259sdiq etm\u0259k, dig\u0259r qad\u0131nlardan daha \u00fcst\u00fcn olduqlar\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6zl\u0259rin\u0259 s\u00fcbut etm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn bu yola \u0259l ata bilirl\u0259r. Y\u0259ni ba\u015fqa qad\u0131na aid olan ki\u015fini \u0259ld\u0259 ed\u0259r\u0259k, \u00f6zg\u00fcv\u0259nl\u0259rini b\u0259rpa etmi\u015f olurlar: “Psixoanalitik yana\u015fmaya g\u00f6r\u0259, bunun \u0259sas s\u0259b\u0259bi evli ki\u015fi il\u0259 birlikd\u0259 olmaqla, u\u015faql\u0131\u011f\u0131nda atas\u0131 t\u0259r\u0259find\u0259n aldad\u0131lm\u0131\u015f olan anas\u0131n\u0131n \u015f\u00fcuralt\u0131 intiqam\u0131n\u0131 almaq hissinin \u00f6n\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xmas\u0131d\u0131r. Ancaq bu faza insan beyninin d\u0259rinlikl\u0259rind\u0259 (t\u0259ht\u0259l\u015f\u00fcurda) oldu\u011fundan bu v\u0259ziyy\u0259ti asanl\u0131qla anlay\u0131b, d\u0259rk etm\u0259k m\u00fcmk\u00fcn deyil. Ancaq yaln\u0131z ata obraz\u0131n\u0131n \u0259skikliyi il\u0259 bu c\u00fcr yasaq m\u00fcnasib\u0259tl\u0259ri tam izah etm\u0259k d\u0259 m\u00fcmk\u00fcn deyildir. Bildiyimiz kimi, \u0259l\u00e7atmaz g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u0259n v\u0259 bizd\u0259 olmayan \u015feyl\u0259ri g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fczd\u0259 idealla\u015fd\u0131r\u0131b, onlar\u0131 \u0259ld\u0259 etm\u0259y\u0259 can at\u0131r\u0131q. Evli ki\u015fil\u0259r bu s\u0259b\u0259bd\u0259n cazib\u0259dar v\u0259 \u0259l\u00e7atmaz sand\u0131\u011f\u0131 qad\u0131nlarla m\u00fcnasib\u0259t qurma\u011fa v\u0259 sevgili olma\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rlar”.
\nPsixoloq bildirir ki, qad\u0131n\u0131n h\u0259yatda yaln\u0131z olmas\u0131 v\u0259 iqtisadi \u00e7\u0259tinlikl\u0259ri, \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc d\u0259y\u0259rli hiss etm\u0259k ist\u0259m\u0259si, eyni anda bir ne\u00e7\u0259si il\u0259 m\u00fcnasib\u0259t ya\u015faya bil\u0259c\u0259yini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u0259si, ata fiqurunun u\u015faql\u0131qdan b\u0259ri \u00e7at\u0131\u015fmazl\u0131\u011f\u0131 v\u0259 s. bu kimi s\u0259b\u0259bl\u0259r qad\u0131nlar\u0131n evli ki\u015fil\u0259r\u0259 y\u00f6n\u0259lm\u0259sind\u0259 vacib rol oynay\u0131r: “X\u0259yan\u0259t ed\u0259n ki\u015finin v\u0259ziyy\u0259ti is\u0259 burada qad\u0131ndan daha a\u011f\u0131r olur \u00e7ox zaman. Adam evli oldu\u011fu \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn gec\u0259l\u0259ri telefonla rahat dan\u0131\u015fa bilmir, \u0259trafdan g\u00f6r\u0259n ola bil\u0259r qorxusu il\u0259 n\u0259 yolda\u015f\u0131, n\u0259 d\u0259 sevgilisi il\u0259 ictimai yerl\u0259rd\u0259 g\u0259zm\u0259y\u0259 v\u0259 ya istirah\u0259t\u0259 ged\u0259 bilmir, bir s\u00f6zl\u0259, ya\u015fam\u0131na ist\u0259m\u0259y\u0259r\u0259k d\u0259 olsa, s\u0259rh\u0259dl\u0259r qoyur. Daim gizl\u0259nm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131r v\u0259 buna g\u00f6r\u0259 h\u0259r iki t\u0259r\u0259f\u0259 yalanlar s\u00f6yl\u0259m\u0259y\u0259 m\u0259cbur olur. M\u00fcnasib\u0259td\u0259 oldu\u011fu qad\u0131n ki\u015finin evli oldu\u011funu bilirs\u0259, bir m\u00fcdd\u0259t sonra ondan bo\u015fanmas\u0131n\u0131 v\u0259 a\u00e7\u0131q \u015f\u0259kild\u0259 birlikd\u0259 olmalar\u0131n\u0131 t\u0259l\u0259b edir. Amma ki\u015fi ail\u0259sini da\u011f\u0131tmaq ist\u0259m\u0259diyind\u0259n h\u0259r d\u0259f\u0259 yalanlarla sevgilisini aldad\u0131r v\u0259 m\u00fcxt\u0259lif b\u0259han\u0259l\u0259r g\u0259tirir. “Ayr\u0131lsam, karyeram bit\u0259r”, “ev problemi ya\u015fayaram”, “onsuz da yolda\u015f\u0131m\u0131 sevmir\u0259m, ayr\u0131 otaqlarda yat\u0131r\u0131q”, “u\u015faqlara g\u00f6r\u0259 bu v\u0259ziyy\u0259t\u0259 d\u00f6z\u00fcr\u0259m” kimi b\u0259han\u0259l\u0259rl\u0259 v\u0259ziyy\u0259td\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xma\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131r. H\u0259r d\u0259f\u0259 yeni b\u0259han\u0259l\u0259r v\u0259 yalanlarla zaman qazanma\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131r”.<\/p>\n

Statistika da g\u00f6st\u0259rir ki, \u0259g\u0259r evli ki\u015fi ba\u015fqas\u0131 il\u0259 m\u00fcnasib\u0259t\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131 m\u00fcdd\u0259td\u0259n 12 ay \u0259rzind\u0259 yolda\u015f\u0131ndan ayr\u0131lm\u0131rsa, 90% g\u00f6st\u0259rici il\u0259 sonrak\u0131 ill\u0259rd\u0259 d\u0259 bo\u015fanm\u0131r. \u00c7\u00fcnki as\u0131l\u0131 insan n\u0259 yolda\u015f\u0131ndan, n\u0259 d\u0259 sevgilisind\u0259n ayr\u0131lmaq ist\u0259yir. Onun \u0259sas m\u0259qs\u0259di h\u0259r iki t\u0259r\u0259fi balansl\u0131 \u015f\u0259kild\u0259 idar\u0259 etm\u0259kdir.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“6 ildir evli ki\u015fi il\u0259 dini nikahla ya\u015fay\u0131ram, onun ikinci h\u0259yat yolda\u015f\u0131yam. Yolda\u015f\u0131m s\u00fcr\u00fcc\u00fcd\u00fcr. Az-\u00e7ox qazand\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 iki ail\u0259si aras\u0131nda b\u00f6l\u00fcr. Naraz\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131m yoxdu. Amma m\u0259n\u0259 \u00e7ox az zaman ay\u0131r\u0131r. Bu il bir \u00f6vlad\u0131m da d\u00fcnyaya g\u0259lib. B\u0259db\u0259xt deyil\u0259m, amma sevdiyini payla\u015fmaq \u00e7\u0259tindir. \u0130st\u0259rdim o, t\u0259k m\u0259nim olsun. Amma ail\u0259sini d\u0259 da\u011f\u0131tmaram”, – deyir 27 ya\u015fl\u0131 \u0130lah\u0259 N\u0259biyeva. ARANTV.AZ lent.az-a istinad\u0259n bildirir ki, ba\u015f\u0131na g\u0259l\u0259nl\u0259ri \u0130lah\u0259 ilk d\u0259f\u0259 17 ya\u015f\u0131nda ail\u0259 qurub. Daha do\u011frusu, sevdiyi o\u011flana qo\u015fulub qa\u00e7\u0131b. Bir ild\u0259n sonra is\u0259 \u0259ri \u0130lah\u0259ni t\u0259rk edib. Valideynl\u0259rinin \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 baxa bilm\u0259diyi \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn do\u011fuldu\u011fu…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":118938,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"gutentor_comment":0,"rttpg_featured_image_url":{"full":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/1579118943_80119737_1004526213263830_8411074707056467850_n.jpg",640,480,false],"landscape":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/1579118943_80119737_1004526213263830_8411074707056467850_n.jpg",640,480,false],"portraits":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/1579118943_80119737_1004526213263830_8411074707056467850_n.jpg",640,480,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/1579118943_80119737_1004526213263830_8411074707056467850_n-150x150.jpg",150,150,true],"medium":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/1579118943_80119737_1004526213263830_8411074707056467850_n-300x225.jpg",300,225,true],"large":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/1579118943_80119737_1004526213263830_8411074707056467850_n.jpg",640,480,false],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/1579118943_80119737_1004526213263830_8411074707056467850_n.jpg",640,480,false],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/1579118943_80119737_1004526213263830_8411074707056467850_n.jpg",640,480,false],"post-thumbnail":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/1579118943_80119737_1004526213263830_8411074707056467850_n-240x172.jpg",240,172,true],"advps-thumb-one":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/1579118943_80119737_1004526213263830_8411074707056467850_n.jpg",640,480,false]},"rttpg_author":{"display_name":"V\u00fcsal Rafiqo\u011flu","author_link":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/?author=2"},"rttpg_comment":0,"rttpg_category":"C\u0259miyy\u0259t<\/a>","rttpg_excerpt":"“6 ildir evli ki\u015fi il\u0259 dini nikahla ya\u015fay\u0131ram, onun ikinci h\u0259yat yolda\u015f\u0131yam. Yolda\u015f\u0131m s\u00fcr\u00fcc\u00fcd\u00fcr. Az-\u00e7ox qazand\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 iki ail\u0259si aras\u0131nda b\u00f6l\u00fcr. Naraz\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131m yoxdu. Amma m\u0259n\u0259 \u00e7ox az zaman ay\u0131r\u0131r. Bu il bir \u00f6vlad\u0131m da d\u00fcnyaya g\u0259lib. B\u0259db\u0259xt deyil\u0259m, amma sevdiyini payla\u015fmaq \u00e7\u0259tindir. \u0130st\u0259rdim o, t\u0259k m\u0259nim olsun. Amma ail\u0259sini d\u0259 da\u011f\u0131tmaram”, – deyir 27 ya\u015fl\u0131 \u0130lah\u0259…","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/118937"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=118937"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/118937\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/118938"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=118937"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=118937"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=118937"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}