Tovuzun Dondar Qu\u015f\u00e7u k\u0259ndind\u0259 amans\u0131zcas\u0131na q\u0259tl\u0259 yetiril\u0259n N\u0259rminin ail\u0259si \u00f6t\u0259n h\u0259ft\u0259 Bak\u0131ya g\u0259lib. Biznes laydi Ruhi \u018fliyevan\u0131n d\u0259st\u0259yi il\u0259 m\u0259\u015fhur psixoloq-psixoterapevt Elmir \u018fkb\u0259rin yan\u0131nda m\u00fcayin\u0259d\u0259n ke\u00e7ib.<\/p>\n
ARANTV.AZ\u00a0<\/strong> x\u0259b\u0259r verir ki, Elmir \u018fkb\u0259r ail\u0259 \u00fczvl\u0259ri il\u0259 ayr\u0131-ayr\u0131l\u0131qda dan\u0131\u015f\u0131b, onlar\u0131n psixoloji v\u0259ziyy\u0259tl\u0259rini yoxlay\u0131b.<\/p>\n “Anan\u0131n susqun olmas\u0131n\u0131n s\u0259b\u0259bi…\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n N\u0259rminin \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcnd\u0259n sonra c\u0259miyy\u0259td\u0259 N\u0259rminin anas\u0131n\u0131n susqunlu\u011fu birm\u0259nal\u0131 qar\u015f\u0131\u0131anmad\u0131.Psixoloq Elmir \u018fkb\u0259r bu davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131n s\u0259b\u0259bini a\u00e7\u0131qlad\u0131 “O m\u0259kandan uzaqla\u015fmal\u0131d\u0131r…\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n Elmir \u018fkb\u0259r ail\u0259nin haqs\u0131z yer\u0259 q\u0131nanmas\u0131na da m\u00fcnasib\u0259tini bildirib: “Bir m\u00fct\u0259x\u0259ssis olaraq dem\u0259k ist\u0259yir\u0259m ki, c\u0259miyy\u0259td\u0259 ail\u0259nin haqs\u0131z yer\u0259 q\u0131nanmalar\u0131na qar\u015f\u0131yam. Psixologiyada da a\u011f\u0131r travma ya\u015fayan insan\u0131n hadis\u0259 ba\u015f ver\u0259n yerd\u0259n uzaqla\u015fmas\u0131 t\u00f6vsiy\u0259 olunur. \u00c7\u00fcnki \u00e7ox vaxt insan hadis\u0259 ba\u015f ver\u0259n yer\u0259 m\u00fcnasib\u0259tini d\u0259yi\u015f\u0259 bilmir. \u018fg\u0259r d\u0259yi\u015f\u0259 bilmirs\u0259, o zaman ordan uzaqla\u015fmal\u0131d\u0131r, bu, qism\u0259n d\u0259 olsa, k\u00f6m\u0259k edir. Bu ail\u0259 d\u0259 el\u0259 durumdad\u0131r ki, u\u015fa\u011f\u0131n d\u0259fn olundu\u011fu q\u0259brisanl\u0131q evl\u0259rinin yan\u0131ndad\u0131r, c\u0259s\u0259din yand\u0131r\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 yer yax\u0131ndad\u0131r, t\u0259qsirl\u0259ndiril\u0259n \u015f\u0259xs qon\u015fuluqda ya\u015fay\u0131r. Z\u0259nnimc\u0259, imkan daxilind\u0259 onlar ba\u015fqa yer\u0259 k\u00f6\u00e7s\u0259l\u0259r, ba\u015fqa yerd\u0259 ya\u015fasalar h\u0259yata uy\u011funla\u015fmalar\u0131na k\u00f6m\u0259k olar. Yaddan \u00e7\u0131xarmayaq ki, bu ail\u0259d\u0259 iki ba\u015fqa q\u0131z da b\u00f6y\u00fcy\u00fcr. Valideynl\u0259r n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r tez uy\u011funla\u015fsalar, t\u0259skinlik tapsalar, o iki u\u015faq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn d\u0259 yax\u015f\u0131 olar\u201d.<\/p>\n “T\u0259ki bac\u0131m g\u0259lsin…\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n Psixoterapevt N\u0259rminin bac\u0131lar\u0131 \u2013 \u015e\u0259bn\u0259ml\u0259 \u015e\u0259han\u0259ni d\u0259 psixoloji sor\u011fudan ke\u00e7irib. H\u0259r iki bac\u0131 arzularla ba\u011fl\u0131 suala eyni cavab\u0131 verib: “He\u00e7 n\u0259 ist\u0259mirik, birc\u0259 bac\u0131m\u0131z geri g\u0259lsin…\u201d Psixoloq onu da qeyd edib ki, bel\u0259 hadis\u0259l\u0259rin ba\u015f verm\u0259sinin s\u0259b\u0259bl\u0259rind\u0259n biri d\u0259 c\u0259miyy\u0259td\u0259, ail\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259, insanlar aras\u0131ndak\u0131 laqeydlikdir: “C\u0259miyy\u0259td\u0259 m\u00fcnasib\u0259tl\u0259r aras\u0131nda bo\u015fluqlar, laqeydlik var. Laqeydlik c\u0259miyy\u0259timizin \u0259n b\u00f6y\u00fck x\u0259st\u0259liyidir. Bu, insanlarda depressiyalar\u0131n yaranmas\u0131na s\u0259b\u0259b olur. \u0130nfarkt, onkoloji x\u0259st\u0259lik\u0259rin \u0259sas s\u0259b\u0259bi depressiya v\u0259 psixoloji s\u0131x\u0131nt\u0131lard\u0131r. Onun da yaranma\u011f\u0131na s\u0259b\u0259b c\u0259miyy\u0259tin bigan\u0259liyidir. \u0130st\u0259r \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcz\u0259, ist\u0259rs\u0259 d\u0259 yan\u0131m\u0131zda olan insanlara qar\u015f\u0131 etinas\u0131zl\u0131q \u00e7ox b\u00f6y\u00fck f\u0259sadlara yol a\u00e7\u0131r\u201d.<\/p>\n
\n“Valideynl\u0259rl\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fanda g\u00f6r\u00fcrs\u0259n ki, ata il\u0259 anan\u0131n hadis\u0259y\u0259 reaksiyas\u0131 tamamil\u0259 f\u0259rqlidir. Ata fikrini daha a\u00e7\u0131q izah edir. Ana is\u0259 fikrini dola\u015f\u0131q \u00e7atd\u0131r\u0131r. \u00c7\u00fcnki o, susqunlu\u011fun, s\u00fckutun arxas\u0131nda gizl\u0259nm\u0259k ist\u0259yir. Bu ola bilsin ki, ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 travman\u0131n n\u0259tic\u0259sidir, o, he\u00e7 kiml\u0259 \u00fcnsiyy\u0259t\u0259 girm\u0259k ist\u0259mir. \u018fn az\u0131ndan bu m\u00f6vzu onun \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn a\u011f\u0131rd\u0131, o s\u0259b\u0259bd\u0259n d\u0259 m\u00f6vzudan qa\u00e7mas\u0131 t\u0259biidir. Amma k\u0259nardansa bu, ba\u015fqa t\u0259\u0259ss\u00fcrat ba\u011f\u0131\u015flaya bil\u0259r. El\u0259 anla\u015f\u0131lar ki, o n\u0259 is\u0259 bilir, amma dem\u0259k ist\u0259mir. M\u0259n m\u00f6vcud v\u0259ziyy\u0259ti bel\u0259 qiym\u0259tl\u0259ndirir\u0259m. Bunu \u00f6z\u0259llikl\u0259 vur\u011fulamaq ist\u0259yir\u0259m ki, a\u011f\u0131r travma ya\u015fayan inasanlarda, ail\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259 bel\u0259 ziddiy\u0259tli reaksiyan\u0131n olmas\u0131 t\u0259biidir. Ham\u0131 bilir ki, yas yerind\u0259 d\u00fcnyas\u0131n\u0131 d\u0259yi\u015fmis insan\u0131n yax\u0131nlar\u0131 qol g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcb oynaya da bil\u0259r, deyib g\u00fcl\u0259 d\u0259. Halbuki bu parodoksal reaksiyad\u0131r. Onlar sad\u0259c\u0259, m\u00fcdafi\u0259 mexanizmi olaraq a\u011fr\u0131dan qa\u00e7ma\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rlar. Bir psixoterapevt olaraq bunun psixoanalizi il\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131 diqq\u0259tli olmal\u0131y\u0131q, insanlar da ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259lidirl\u0259r ki, bel\u0259 bir a\u011f\u0131r itkid\u0259 o \u015f\u0259xsin h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259tl\u0259ri k\u0259nardan baxana yersiz g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u0259 bil\u0259r\u201d.<\/p>\n
\nE.\u018fkb\u0259r azya\u015fl\u0131lar\u0131n psixoloju durumunu da \u015f\u0259rh edib: “T\u0259bii ki, h\u0259r iki u\u015faq ciddi psixoloji z\u0259rb\u0259 al\u0131b. Bac\u0131lar\u0131n ikisi d\u0259 eyni \u015feyi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcr, eyni arzudad\u0131r. Onlar N\u0259rminin qay\u0131tmas\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn h\u0259r \u015feyl\u0259rini verm\u0259y\u0259, b\u00fct\u00fcn arzular\u0131ndan ke\u00e7m\u0259y\u0259 haz\u0131rd\u0131rlar\u201d.<\/p>\n