S\u0259n\u0259 el\u0259 g\u0259lir ki, bu, ham\u0131n\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131na g\u0259l\u0259 bil\u0259r, t\u0259kc\u0259 s\u0259nd\u0259n ba\u015fqa. D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fcn ki, o, he\u00e7 vaxt s\u0259n\u0259 x\u0259yan\u0259t etm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259k.<\/p>\n
Amma son vaxtlar i\u00e7ind\u0259ki etibar hissi sars\u0131l\u0131b. Tez-tez sevdiyin insana qar\u015f\u0131 etibar\u0131n itir. Bununla n\u0259 ed\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n – m\u0259lum deyil…<\/p>\n
Nec\u0259 etm\u0259li ki, \u015f\u00fcbh\u0259l\u0259rl\u0259 h\u0259yat\u0131n\u0131 da\u011f\u0131tmayasan? H\u0259l\u0259 sevgilin buna he\u00e7 layiq deyils\u0259… B\u0259s, \u0259g\u0259r do\u011frudan da s\u0259n\u0259 x\u0259yan\u0259t edibs\u0259, nec\u0259 davranmal\u0131? Bu ac\u0131n\u0131 nec\u0259 ya\u015famal\u0131, onu nec\u0259 ba\u011f\u0131\u015flamal\u0131 v\u0259 bundan sonrak\u0131 h\u0259yat\u0131n\u0131 nec\u0259 davam etdirm\u0259li v\u0259 insanlara olan etibar\u0131n\u0131 nec\u0259 itirm\u0259m\u0259li?<\/p>\n
Ac\u0131 h\u0259qiq\u0259t!<\/strong><\/p>\n Nec\u0259 oldu\u011fu vacib deyil, amma s\u0259n \u00f6yr\u0259ndin – o, s\u0259n\u0259 x\u0259yan\u0259t edir. Ac\u0131 \u00e7\u0259kirs\u0259n, z\u0259if, s\u0131z\u0131ldayan birin\u0259 \u00e7evrilirs\u0259n. B\u00fct\u00fcn g\u00fcn\u00fc fikirl\u0259\u015fm\u0259k, yem\u0259d\u0259n-i\u00e7m\u0259d\u0259n oturmaq – b\u00fct\u00fcn bunlar ya\u015fama\u011f\u0131na, h\u0259tta n\u0259f\u0259s alma\u011f\u0131na bel\u0259 mane olur. H\u0259yatda \u0259n yax\u0131n, \u0259n yax\u015f\u0131 varl\u0131q hesab etdiyin insan s\u0259n\u0259 x\u0259yan\u0259t edib. Fikirl\u0259rin qar\u0131\u015f\u0131b, g\u00f6z ya\u015flar\u0131nsa, he\u00e7 s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 baxm\u0131r. Onun ba\u015fqas\u0131 il\u0259 oldu\u011fu, mehriban dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131, sa\u00e7\u0131n\u0131 s\u0131\u011fallay\u0131b, \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 toxunmas\u0131 g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn \u00f6n\u00fcnd\u0259n getmir. Ax\u0131 bu xo\u015f s\u00f6zl\u0259rim mehriban h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259tl\u0259rin ham\u0131s\u0131 s\u0259n\u0259 m\u0259xsus idi. B\u00fct\u00fcn bu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259l\u0259r h\u0259yat\u0131n\u0131 \u015fik\u0259st edib, \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc \u0259l\u0259 alma\u011fa imkan vermir.<\/p>\n \u015ead x\u0259b\u0259r: \u018fg\u0259r d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrs\u0259n ki, bundan sonra h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 bel\u0259 olacaqsan, he\u00e7 vaxt sevinib, \u0259yl\u0259nm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n, insanlarla m\u00fclayim dan\u0131\u015fa bilm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n, \u0259vv\u0259lki kimi asud\u0259 n\u0259f\u0259s almayacaqsan – yan\u0131l\u0131rsan. Uzun vaxt ke\u00e7m\u0259d\u0259n h\u0259r \u015fey yoluna d\u00fc\u015f\u0259c\u0259k. Buna inan!<\/p>\n Pis x\u0259b\u0259r: \u0130lk vaxtlar \u00e7ox \u00e7\u0259tin olacaq, h\u0259tta onu ba\u015fqas\u0131 il\u0259 g\u00f6rd\u00fcy\u00fcn andan da pis. Hadis\u0259d\u0259n qalib \u00e7\u0131xmaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn m\u00fcbariz\u0259 aparmal\u0131san ki, depressiyaya d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259y\u0259s\u0259n. Buna g\u00f6r\u0259 d\u0259 s\u0259n\u0259 vaxt itirm\u0259d\u0259n yeni h\u0259yata ba\u015flamaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn plan t\u0259klif edirik. \u018fks-halda bu, v\u0259ziyy\u0259t yax\u015f\u0131 bitm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259k.<\/p>\n Psixoloq m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259ti:<\/strong><\/p>\n ARANTV.AZ\u00a0<\/b>bildirir ki, \u0259n m\u0259\u015fhur psixoloqlar bu fikird\u0259dir: x\u0259yan\u0259t\u0259 u\u011frad\u0131\u011f\u0131n \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 yaz\u0131\u011f\u0131n g\u0259lm\u0259sin. \u00d6z\u00fcn\u00fc \u0259l\u0259 al v\u0259 hadis\u0259l\u0259ri ay\u0131q ba\u015fla g\u00f6t\u00fcr-qoy et: s\u0259nin zar-zar a\u011flama\u011f\u0131n h\u0259yat\u0131n\u0131 v\u0259 \u0259s\u0259bl\u0259rini m\u0259hv etm\u0259kd\u0259n ba\u015fqa bir i\u015f\u0259 yaram\u0131r. S\u0259n a\u011flad\u0131\u011f\u0131n \u0259r\u0259f\u0259d\u0259 ke\u00e7mi\u015f sevgilin h\u0259yat\u0131n\u0131 g\u00fcl\u0259r\u00fczl\u0259 davam etdirir, bir damc\u0131 da olsun vicdan \u0259zab\u0131 \u00e7\u0259kmir. H\u0259r \u015feyi tez unutmaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc i\u015fl\u0259 y\u00fckl\u0259: \u0259g\u0259r i\u015fl\u0259yirs\u0259ns\u0259, m\u00fcdird\u0259n s\u0259n\u0259 \u00e7ox tap\u015f\u0131r\u0131q verm\u0259sini t\u0259l\u0259b et. Yox \u0259g\u0259r evd\u0259 bekar oturmusansa, idmana, fitnes\u0259, hovuza get. Bunlara imkan\u0131n \u00e7atm\u0131rsa, r\u0259fiq\u0259l\u0259rinl\u0259 g\u0259z. Beyin \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u0259n yax\u015f\u0131 istirah\u0259t maraql\u0131 bir kitab oxumaqd\u0131r.<\/p>\n Birlikd\u0259 fikirl\u0259\u015f\u0259k: n\u0259 ba\u015f verib? N\u0259 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn bel\u0259 oldu? B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 bu, g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259kd\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131la\u015faca\u011f\u0131n \u0259n a\u011f\u0131r hadis\u0259nin qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 ald\u0131. Unutma ki, Tanr\u0131 n\u0259 edirs\u0259 yax\u015f\u0131li\u011fa do\u011fru edir. Sonda: onun izah\u0131na qulaq asmadan x\u0259yan\u0259t etdiyini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u0259. B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 bu x\u0259yan\u0259t yox, s\u0259nin a\u011fl\u0131na bel\u0259 g\u0259tirm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259yin m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259dir.<\/p>\n Paranoyya v\u0259 ya intuisiya<\/strong><\/p>\n X\u0259yan\u0259t qar d\u0259n\u0259l\u0259rinin q\u0259fild\u0259n ba\u015f\u0131na ya\u011fd\u0131\u011f\u0131 kimi ani v\u0259 \u00e7ox olmur. H\u0259rd\u0259n biz \u0259vv\u0259lc\u0259d\u0259n hiss edirik ki, n\u0259s\u0259 yolunda getmir. H\u0259rd\u0259n he\u00e7 n\u0259d\u0259n \u015f\u00fcbh\u0259l\u0259nm\u0259s\u0259k d\u0259 fantaziyam\u0131z i\u015f\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr. H\u0259tta Britaniya psixoloqlar\u0131 bel\u0259 hissl\u0259rin h\u0259qiqi olub-olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 a\u015fkarlayan formulu d\u00fcz\u0259ld\u0259 bilm\u0259yibl\u0259r. G\u00f6r\u0259s\u0259n, s\u0259nin \u015f\u00fcbh\u0259l\u0259rin h\u0259qiq\u0259tdir, yoxsa s\u0259n paranoiks\u0259n?<\/p>\n Psixoloq m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259ti:<\/strong><\/p>\n Bir m\u00fcdd\u0259tlik “Od olmayan yerd\u0259n t\u00fcst\u00fc \u00e7\u0131xmaz” m\u0259s\u0259lini unut. Ola bilsin ona tan\u0131mad\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir xan\u0131m z\u0259ng edir. Onun bel\u0259 gizlin dan\u0131\u015fmas\u0131n\u0131n t\u0259k g\u00fcnahkar\u0131 da s\u0259ns\u0259n: \u00e7\u00fcnki o, s\u0259nin bunu normal q\u0259bul edib, ona inanaca\u011f\u0131na \u0259min deyil. Hadis\u0259l\u0259r\u0259 bacard\u0131\u011f\u0131n q\u0259d\u0259r obyektiv yana\u015f, \u0259g\u0259r anlasan ki, bu m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259 s\u0259ni \u00e7ox narahat edir, onda sevgilini ciddi s\u00f6hb\u0259t\u0259 d\u0259v\u0259t et: danlamadan, \u015f\u00fcbh\u0259l\u0259nm\u0259d\u0259n v\u0259 n\u0259l\u0259rs\u0259 t\u0259l\u0259b etm\u0259d\u0259n… Ona s\u0259ni n\u0259yin narahat etdiyini anlatma\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015f. Bu c\u00fcr sor\u011fu-sualdan sonra o ya h\u0259r \u015feyi etiraf ed\u0259c\u0259k, ya da s\u0259ni \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 inand\u0131rma\u011f\u0131 bacaracaq. \u018flb\u0259tt\u0259 burada ba\u015fqa variantlar da m\u00fcmk\u00fcnd\u00fcr: h\u0259r iki halda bu s\u00f6hb\u0259t m\u00fcnasib\u0259tl\u0259rinizin g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259yin\u0259 t\u0259sir ed\u0259c\u0259k, problemi aradan qald\u0131rma\u011fa k\u00f6m\u0259k ed\u0259c\u0259k.<\/p>\n O kimdir?<\/strong><\/p>\n Onun gizli dan\u0131\u015f\u0131qlar\u0131, m\u0259nal\u0131 mesajlar\u0131 s\u0259nd\u0259 \u015f\u00fcbh\u0259l\u0259r yarad\u0131r. H\u0259tta h\u0259rd\u0259n s\u0259nin g\u0259ldiyini g\u00f6r\u00fcb, q\u0259fild\u0259n telefonu ba\u011flay\u0131r. Amma s\u0259ni onun x\u0259yan\u0259ti yox, xan\u0131m\u0131n kim oldu\u011fu maraqland\u0131r\u0131r.\u00a0 Ola bilsin mesaj yazan, z\u0259ng ed\u0259n onun i\u015f v\u0259 ya qrup yolda\u015f\u0131d\u0131r. F\u0259rziy\u0259l\u0259r aras\u0131ndan daha \u00e7ox “r\u0259fiq\u0259” d\u00fcz \u00e7\u0131x\u0131r. Burada t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u00fc v\u0259 q\u0259rib\u0259 he\u00e7 n\u0259 yoxdur.<\/p>\n Psixoloq m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259ti:<\/strong><\/p>\n B\u0259zi q\u0131zlar o\u011flanlarla laz\u0131m\u0131ndan art\u0131q mehriban v\u0259 emosional davran\u0131rlar. Ola bilsin ki, o, gizli dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131 insana qar\u015f\u0131 ba\u015fqa hissl\u0259r ke\u00e7irir. B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 onu dost g\u00f6z\u00fc il\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fcr. H\u0259r \u015f\u00fcbh\u0259ni x\u0259yan\u0259tl\u0259 ba\u011flamaq olmaz. Bu h\u0259m m\u00fcnasib\u0259tl\u0259rd\u0259ki ba\u011fl\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131, h\u0259m etibar\u0131, h\u0259m d\u0259 mehriban\u00e7\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 sars\u0131dacaq.<\/p>\n Ba\u015fqa bir f\u0259rziyy\u0259: Ola bilsin ki, z\u0259ng ed\u0259n onun ke\u00e7mi\u015find\u0259ki bir insand\u0131r. O, g\u00f6zl\u0259nilm\u0259d\u0259n sizin aran\u0131za girib. Amma m\u0259qs\u0259d s\u0259nin d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcy\u00fcn kimi olmaya da bil\u0259r. Bu, t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u00fc deyil. ola bilsin ki, s\u0259nin sevgilin ona qar\u015f\u0131 he\u00e7 n\u0259 hiss etmir. \u00c7\u00fcnki ona \u0259lav\u0259 problem laz\u0131m deyil. Buna g\u00f6r\u0259 d\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015f ki, “vay, o ke\u00e7mi\u015f sinif yolda\u015f\u0131 il\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc”, “vay, o ke\u00e7mi\u015f sevgilisi il\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131la\u015fd\u0131”, “vay ona ba\u015fqa xan\u0131m z\u0259ng edir” kimi g\u00fcmanlara d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb, \u0259s\u0259bl\u0259rini korlama. Yoxsa o, h\u0259qiq\u0259t\u0259n d\u0259 s\u0259nd\u0259n yorulub, rahatl\u0131q tapmaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn ba\u015fqas\u0131na s\u0131\u011f\u0131nacaq.<\/p>\n Daha \u00e7ox s\u0259ni aparmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 gec\u0259 \u015f\u0259nliyind\u0259ki q\u0131zlardan qorx.<\/p>\n X\u0259st\u0259lik \u0259lam\u0259tl\u0259ri<\/strong><\/p>\n Y\u0259qin ki, s\u0259n – “\u0259g\u0259r o\u011flan bir sevgilisin\u0259 x\u0259yan\u0259t edibs\u0259, dem\u0259k ham\u0131s\u0131na ed\u0259c\u0259k” ifad\u0259sini e\u015fitmis\u0259n. Bu m\u0259ntiq\u0259 uy\u011fun olmayan bir fikirdir. Y\u0259ni “he\u00e7 kim\u0259 etibar etm\u0259m\u0259k” x\u0259st\u0259liyinin \u0259lam\u0259tl\u0259ridir. Lakin tam f\u0259rqli bir hadis\u0259 d\u0259 var: \u0259g\u0259r x\u0259yan\u0259t ed\u0259n insan bundan d\u0259rs al\u0131b, onun c\u0259zas\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6d\u0259yibs\u0259, o, h\u0259yat\u0131n\u0131n sonuna kimi x\u0259yan\u0259t\u0259 “No!-No!-No!” dey\u0259c\u0259k. Bel\u0259 d\u0259 ola bil\u0259r: b\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 h\u0259min insan x\u0259yan\u0259td\u0259n sonra he\u00e7 bir d\u0259rs almay\u0131b, onda s\u0259ni q\u0131namaq laz\u0131m deyil. Onda s\u0259nd\u0259 h\u0259qiq\u0259t\u0259n d\u0259 qorxu sindromu yaranacaq.<\/p>\n Psixoloq m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259ti:<\/strong><\/p>\n Biz yen\u0259 d\u0259 bir ne\u00e7\u0259 riskli ara\u015fd\u0131rma aparma\u011f\u0131 t\u0259klif edirik. Amma bu o dem\u0259k deyil ki, s\u0259n dedektiv kimi onu g\u00fcdm\u0259li, qap\u0131 arxas\u0131nda gizl\u0259nm\u0259lis\u0259n. Bunu ba\u015fqa yolla da etm\u0259k m\u00fcmk\u00fcnd\u00fcr: m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259n, \u0259lam\u0259tl\u0259r\u0259 fikir verin:<\/p>\n H\u0259y\u0259can \u0259lam\u0259ti: siz daha az g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131z. Onu anlaya bil\u0259rik: \u0259g\u0259r o, yeni i\u015f\u0259 giribs\u0259, ba\u011fda atas\u0131na k\u00f6m\u0259k edirs\u0259, anas\u0131 ciddi x\u0259st\u0259dirs\u0259… s\u0259nin sevgilin \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc \u00e7ox normal apar\u0131r. Yox, \u0259g\u0259r o, ciddi he\u00e7 bir i\u015fl\u0259 m\u0259\u015f\u011ful deyils\u0259, onun h\u0259yat\u0131 k\u00f6kl\u00fc \u015f\u0259kild\u0259 d\u0259yi\u015fm\u0259yibs\u0259, h\u0259r d\u0259f\u0259 s\u0259ninl\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fm\u0259m\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn b\u0259han\u0259l\u0259r tap\u0131rsa, dem\u0259k, \u015f\u00fcbh\u0259l\u0259nm\u0259kd\u0259 bir az haql\u0131san. S\u0259n onun q\u0259fild\u0259n “Agent 007” olmas\u0131ndan qorx: o, harda v\u0259 kiminl\u0259 oldu\u011funu, n\u0259 etdiyini gizl\u0259dir, telefonla dan\u0131\u015fanda s\u0259nin yan\u0131ndan uzaqla\u015fma\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131r… Bax bu, d\u0259h\u015f\u0259tdir.<\/p>\n Bu yerd\u0259 s\u0259n \u00f6z hissl\u0259rin\u0259 qulaq as: \u0259g\u0259r onsuz ya\u015faya bilmirs\u0259ns\u0259 v\u0259 bu v\u0259ziyy\u0259ti q\u0259bul etm\u0259y\u0259 haz\u0131rsansa, \u015f\u00fcbh\u0259l\u0259rin\u0259 \u0259h\u0259miyy\u0259t verm\u0259d\u0259n, he\u00e7 n\u0259yi d\u0259rinliyin\u0259 kimi ara\u015fd\u0131rmadan ya\u015fama\u011fa davam et. Yox \u0259g\u0259r x\u0259yan\u0259ti he\u00e7 vaxt q\u0259bul etm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259yini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrs\u0259ns\u0259, m\u00fcnasib\u0259t\u0259 son qoyma\u011f\u0131 n\u0259z\u0259rd\u0259n ke\u00e7irt. Amma \u0259vv\u0259lc\u0259 onun cavab\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6yr\u0259n. Bir \u015feyi d\u0259 unutma: h\u0259rd\u0259n x\u0259yan\u0259t \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fc insan olmadan da ba\u015f ver\u0259 bil\u0259r. Ola bilsin ki, o, m\u00fcnasib\u0259tinizd\u0259n yorulub, onu n\u0259s\u0259 qane etmir v\u0259 o, uzaqla\u015fma\u011fa ba\u015flay\u0131b.<\/p>\n N\u0259yi x\u0259yan\u0259t hesab etm\u0259li<\/strong><\/p>\n X\u0259yan\u0259tl\u0259r aras\u0131nda b\u00f6y\u00fck f\u0259rq var. B\u0259z\u0259n x\u0259yan\u0259t m\u0259n\u0259vi d\u0259 ola bil\u0259r. Ona g\u00f6r\u0259 d\u0259 x\u0259yan\u0259tin ilk qoxusunu alma\u011fa ba\u015flayanda hay-k\u00fcy qopartma. O, kim\u0259s\u0259 g\u00fcl d\u0259st\u0259si ald\u0131: ola bilsin ki, bu, onun ya i\u015f, ya da qrup yolda\u015f\u0131d\u0131r. O, internetd\u0259 oturur v\u0259 burada ba\u015fqalar\u0131 il\u0259 yaz\u0131\u015f\u0131r: b\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 o, yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131 insanlara \u0259h\u0259miyy\u0259t vermir, sad\u0259c\u0259 vaxt ke\u00e7irir.<\/p>\n Psixoloq m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259ti:<\/strong><\/p>\n \u018fg\u0259r o h\u0259r yerd\u0259 “sevgilim yoxdur” deyirs\u0259, ba\u015fqas\u0131na romantik sms-l\u0259r yaz\u0131rsa, kafey\u0259 v\u0259 ya kinoya ba\u015fqa biri il\u0259 gedir, bunu s\u0259nd\u0259n gizl\u0259dirs\u0259, onu “etibarl\u0131 o\u011flan” adland\u0131rmaq olmaz. G\u0259l, do\u011fru fikirl\u0259\u015f\u0259k: normal m\u00fcnasib\u0259tl\u0259rd\u0259 gizli he\u00e7 n\u0259 ola bilm\u0259z. Buna g\u00f6r\u0259 d\u0259 onun s\u0259nd\u0259n n\u0259s\u0259 gizl\u0259tdiyini g\u00f6rd\u00fcy\u00fcn an ondan ayr\u0131l.<\/p>\n \u0130\u015far\u0259 yerind\u0259dir<\/strong><\/p>\n O, s\u0259ninl\u0259 \u00e7ox mehriband\u0131r. H\u0259r g\u00fcn g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr, imkan tapmayanda is\u0259 mesajla\u015f\u0131rs\u0131z. Gec\u0259l\u0259r s\u0259ninl\u0259 sa\u011folla\u015fmadan yatm\u0131r. Ondan \u015f\u00fcbh\u0259l\u0259nm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn he\u00e7 bir i\u015far\u0259 yoxdur. Amma he\u00e7 g\u00f6zl\u0259m\u0259diyin anda onun telefonunda SMS oxudun. Bu azm\u0131\u015f kimi, ikinizin d\u0259 tan\u0131\u015f\u0131 olan biri onu ba\u015fqa xan\u0131mla g\u00f6rd\u00fcy\u00fcn\u00fc deyir.<\/p>\n Psixoloq m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259ti:<\/strong><\/p>\n Burada da \u0259vv\u0259lki \u00fcsullardan istifad\u0259 etm\u0259lis\u0259n: onunla a\u00e7\u0131q-a\u015fkar dan\u0131\u015f. \u018fg\u0259r bu da i\u015f\u0259 yaram\u0131rsa, onda s\u0259nin i\u015fin \u00e7\u0259tindir. Axtar\u0131\u015f\u0131 g\u00fccl\u0259ndirib, \u015f\u00fcbh\u0259l\u0259rinin do\u011fru olub-olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6yr\u0259nm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015f… Ola bilsin ki, qar\u015f\u0131na \u00e7\u0131xan bu i\u015far\u0259l\u0259r s\u0259nin xeyrin\u0259dir.<\/p>\n \u00d6z g\u00f6zl\u0259rinl\u0259<\/strong><\/p>\n \u015e\u0259rhsiz, izahs\u0131z \u0259n yax\u015f\u0131s\u0131, h\u0259r \u015feyi \u00f6z g\u00f6zl\u0259rinl\u0259 g\u00f6rm\u0259kdir. Onlar \u0259l-\u0259l\u0259 tutaraq, parkda g\u0259zi\u015firl\u0259r. Kafed\u0259 oturub, bir-biril\u0259rinin g\u00f6zl\u0259rin\u0259 baxaraq, mehriban s\u00f6hb\u0259t edirl\u0259r… \u0130lk etdiyin \u015fey d\u0259rind\u0259n n\u0259f\u0259s almaqd\u0131r. \u0130kincisi is\u0259 a\u011fl\u0131ndan ke\u00e7irtdikl\u0259rini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u0259m\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmaq: \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc \u00f6ld\u00fcrm\u0259k v\u0259 ya s\u0259n\u0259 x\u0259yan\u0259t ed\u0259n bu c\u00fctl\u00fcy\u00fc ham\u0131n\u0131n i\u00e7ind\u0259 biab\u0131r etm\u0259k. D\u0259rind\u0259n n\u0259f\u0259s al\u0131b, beynind\u0259ki d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259l\u0259ri qaydaya qoyma\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rsan.<\/p>\n Psixoloq m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259ti:<\/strong><\/p>\n \u018fg\u0259r s\u0259n “Morua” roman\u0131n\u0131n q\u0259hr\u0259man\u0131 olsayd\u0131n, onlara g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u0259d\u0259n, m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259d\u0259n x\u0259b\u0259rdar oldu\u011funu dem\u0259d\u0259n, hadis\u0259 yerind\u0259n uzaqla\u015fard\u0131n. Ev\u0259 gedib, masa arxas\u0131nda oturub, a\u011f v\u0259r\u0259q g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcb, ona n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r d\u0259y\u0259r verdiyini, onu \u00e7ox sevdiyini v\u0259 s\u0259n\u0259 bel\u0259 g\u00f6z\u0259l hissl\u0259r ya\u015fatd\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn minn\u0259tdar oldu\u011funu, ba\u015fqas\u0131 il\u0259 xo\u015fb\u0259xtliyin\u0259 mane olmaq ist\u0259m\u0259diyini yazard\u0131n. Bu is\u0259 \u0259sl axmaql\u0131qd\u0131r. S\u0259nin tap\u015f\u0131r\u0131\u011f\u0131n: m\u00f6hk\u0259m olmaq, m\u0259nliyini qorumaqd\u0131r. \u00d6z\u00fcn\u00fc al\u00e7atmadan onlara yax\u0131nla\u015f\u0131b, m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259ni diplomatik h\u0259ll et. Onlar\u0131n g\u00f6r\u0259 bil\u0259c\u0259yi yerd\u0259n sakitc\u0259 ke\u00e7. \u0130nan, bu a\u011f\u0131ll\u0131 h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259t sonradan t\u00f6k\u0259c\u0259yin g\u00f6z ya\u015flar\u0131n\u0131n qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 alacaq.<\/p>\n Sonrak\u0131 h\u0259yat<\/strong><\/p>\n Anlamaq, ba\u011f\u0131\u015flamaq v\u0259 unutmaq<\/p>\n “X\u0259yan\u0259t m\u00fcnasib\u0259tl\u0259ri m\u00f6hk\u0259ml\u0259ndirir” deyimin\u0259 q\u0259tiyy\u0259n inanma. Bu ifad\u0259 \u00f6z h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259tl\u0259rin\u0259 haqq qazand\u0131rmaq ist\u0259y\u0259n\u0259 aiddir. \u00c7\u00fcnki x\u0259yan\u0259tin m\u00fcnasib\u0259tl\u0259rini m\u00f6hk\u0259ml\u0259ndirdiyini dey\u0259n bir c\u00fctl\u00fcy\u00fc t\u0259s\u0259vv\u00fcr etm\u0259k bel\u0259 m\u00fcmk\u00fcn deyil. Buna g\u00f6r\u0259 d\u0259 s\u0259n\u0259 x\u0259yan\u0259t ed\u0259n biri il\u0259 qalma\u011f\u0131 a\u011fl\u0131na bel\u0259 g\u0259tirm\u0259. Sevgilinin \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 haqq qazand\u0131rmas\u0131na v\u0259 s\u00f6zl\u0259rin\u0259 fikir verm\u0259. R\u0259fiq\u0259nin \u00e7iynind\u0259 h\u0131\u00e7q\u0131ra-h\u0131\u00e7q\u0131ra a\u011flamaqdan qorxma. Bir g\u00fcn bu h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259tl\u0259rind\u0259n, \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc bu s\u0259viyy\u0259y\u0259 g\u0259tirib \u00e7\u0131xarma\u011f\u0131ndan utanacaqsan.<\/p>\n X\u0259yan\u0259ti ba\u011f\u0131\u015flamaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn istisna hallar da var: o, h\u0259qiq\u0259t\u0259n d\u0259 pe\u015fmand\u0131r v\u0259 ayaqlar\u0131na d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb ba\u011f\u0131\u015flanmas\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn yalvar\u0131r. S\u0259n\u0259 el\u0259 g\u0259lir ki, bu, ham\u0131n\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131na g\u0259l\u0259 bil\u0259r, t\u0259kc\u0259 s\u0259nd\u0259n ba\u015fqa. D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fcn ki, o, he\u00e7 vaxt s\u0259n\u0259 x\u0259yan\u0259t etm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259k. Amma son vaxtlar i\u00e7ind\u0259ki etibar hissi sars\u0131l\u0131b. Tez-tez sevdiyin insana qar\u015f\u0131 etibar\u0131n itir. Bununla n\u0259 ed\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n – m\u0259lum deyil… Nec\u0259 etm\u0259li ki, \u015f\u00fcbh\u0259l\u0259rl\u0259 h\u0259yat\u0131n\u0131 da\u011f\u0131tmayasan? H\u0259l\u0259 sevgilin buna he\u00e7 layiq deyils\u0259… B\u0259s, \u0259g\u0259r do\u011frudan da s\u0259n\u0259 x\u0259yan\u0259t edibs\u0259, nec\u0259 davranmal\u0131? Bu ac\u0131n\u0131 nec\u0259 ya\u015famal\u0131, onu nec\u0259 ba\u011f\u0131\u015flamal\u0131 v\u0259 bundan sonrak\u0131 h\u0259yat\u0131n\u0131 nec\u0259 davam etdirm\u0259li v\u0259 insanlara olan etibar\u0131n\u0131 nec\u0259 itirm\u0259m\u0259li? Ac\u0131 h\u0259qiq\u0259t! Nec\u0259 oldu\u011fu vacib deyil, amma s\u0259n \u00f6yr\u0259ndin –…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":37317,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"gutentor_comment":0,"rttpg_featured_image_url":{"full":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/subhe_xeyanet.jpg",640,435,false],"landscape":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/subhe_xeyanet.jpg",640,435,false],"portraits":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/subhe_xeyanet.jpg",640,435,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/subhe_xeyanet-150x150.jpg",150,150,true],"medium":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/subhe_xeyanet-300x204.jpg",300,204,true],"large":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/subhe_xeyanet.jpg",640,435,false],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/subhe_xeyanet.jpg",640,435,false],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/subhe_xeyanet.jpg",640,435,false],"post-thumbnail":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/subhe_xeyanet-240x172.jpg",240,172,true],"advps-thumb-one":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/subhe_xeyanet.jpg",640,435,false]},"rttpg_author":{"display_name":"V\u00fcsal Rafiqo\u011flu","author_link":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/?author=2"},"rttpg_comment":0,"rttpg_category":"C\u0259miyy\u0259t<\/a>","rttpg_excerpt":"S\u0259n\u0259 el\u0259 g\u0259lir ki, bu, ham\u0131n\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131na g\u0259l\u0259 bil\u0259r, t\u0259kc\u0259 s\u0259nd\u0259n ba\u015fqa. D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fcn ki, o, he\u00e7 vaxt s\u0259n\u0259 x\u0259yan\u0259t etm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259k. Amma son vaxtlar i\u00e7ind\u0259ki etibar hissi sars\u0131l\u0131b. Tez-tez sevdiyin insana qar\u015f\u0131 etibar\u0131n itir. Bununla n\u0259 ed\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n – m\u0259lum deyil… Nec\u0259 etm\u0259li ki, \u015f\u00fcbh\u0259l\u0259rl\u0259 h\u0259yat\u0131n\u0131 da\u011f\u0131tmayasan? H\u0259l\u0259 sevgilin buna he\u00e7 layiq deyils\u0259… B\u0259s, \u0259g\u0259r do\u011frudan da…","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37316"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=37316"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37316\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/37317"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=37316"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=37316"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=37316"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nBir \u015feyi unutma ki, yax\u015f\u0131 q\u0131zlar kimi, yax\u015f\u0131 o\u011flanlar da az deyil. Onlar da s\u0259nin kimi t\u0259miz, h\u0259qiqi, etibarl\u0131 bir m\u00fcnasib\u0259t axtar\u0131rlar. Onlardan biri m\u00fctl\u0259q s\u0259ni tapacaq.ax\u015fam.az<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"