{"id":51957,"date":"2019-04-20T14:41:26","date_gmt":"2019-04-20T11:41:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/arantv.az\/?p=51957"},"modified":"2019-04-20T14:41:26","modified_gmt":"2019-04-20T11:41:26","slug":"usaqlara-bu-sozl%c9%99ri-dem%c9%99k-q%c9%99ti-qadagandir-valideynl%c9%99r-diqq%c9%99t","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/?p=51957","title":{"rendered":"U\u015faqlara bu s\u00f6zl\u0259ri dem\u0259k q\u0259ti qada\u011fand\u0131r – Valideynl\u0259r D\u0130QQ\u018fT"},"content":{"rendered":"

U\u015faq t\u0259rbiy\u0259si olduqca \u00e7\u0259tin v\u0259 h\u0259ssas m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259dir. Bir \u00e7ox valideyn bu m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259d\u0259 \u00e7\u0259tinlik \u00e7\u0259kir. M\u00fct\u0259x\u0259ssisl\u0259r v\u0259 u\u015faq nevropatoloqlar\u0131 hesab edir ki, bu prosesi \u00e7\u0259tinl\u0259\u015fdir\u0259n h\u0259m d\u0259 valideynl\u0259rin bilm\u0259d\u0259n v\u0259 ya b\u0259z\u0259n bil\u0259r\u0259kd\u0259n dedikl\u0259ri s\u00f6zl\u0259rdir.<\/strong><\/p>\n

ARANTV.AZ<\/strong> Milli.az-a istinad\u0259n x\u0259b\u0259r verir ki, nevropatoloqlar\u0131n fikrinc\u0259, u\u015faqlara m\u00fc\u0259yy\u0259n s\u00f6zl\u0259ri q\u0259tiyy\u0259n dem\u0259k olmaz.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

Bel\u0259 ki, u\u015faqlara deyilm\u0259si m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259t g\u00f6r\u00fclm\u0259y\u0259n s\u00f6zl\u0259rd\u0259n biri “s\u0259nd\u0259 he\u00e7 n\u0259 al\u0131nm\u0131r, he\u00e7 n\u0259yi bacara bilmirs\u0259n, \u0259lind\u0259n bir i\u015f g\u0259lmir, ver, m\u0259n edim”dir.<\/p>\n

Bu c\u00fcml\u0259 u\u015fa\u011f\u0131 travmaya m\u0259ruz qoyur v\u0259 qabaqcadan onu u\u011fursuzluq \u00fczr\u0259 proqramla\u015fd\u0131r\u0131r. O \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc axmaq v\u0259 kobud hiss edir, “ana yenid\u0259n q\u0131\u015fq\u0131racaq” dey\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u0259r\u0259k, g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259kd\u0259 t\u0259\u015f\u0259bb\u00fcs g\u00f6st\u0259rm\u0259y\u0259 qorxur.<\/p>\n

\u0130\u015fl\u0259dilm\u0259si laz\u0131m olan c\u00fcml\u0259: “\u00d6z\u00fcn etm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015f, \u0259g\u0259r yard\u0131ma ehtiyac\u0131n olsa, m\u0259n\u0259 g\u00fcv\u0259n\u0259 bil\u0259rs\u0259n”.<\/p>\n

“Al, g\u00f6t\u00fcr, t\u0259ki sakit ol”<\/strong><\/p>\n

B\u0259zi valideynl\u0259r \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u00e7oxsaatl\u0131<\/a>\u00a0q\u0259mgin halda “N\u0259 olar, ver d\u0259” s\u00f6zl\u0259rin\u0259 s\u0259bir edib d\u00f6zm\u0259k \u00e7\u0259tindir. Lakin ist\u0259diyi \u015feyi u\u015fa\u011fa verm\u0259y\u0259 raz\u0131la\u015fd\u0131qda, valideynl\u0259r \u00f6zl\u0259ri bel\u0259 ist\u0259m\u0259d\u0259n, u\u015fa\u011f\u0131n bu c\u00fcr d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u0259sin\u0259 icaz\u0259 verirl\u0259r: Ah-vay v\u0259 yola g\u0259tirm\u0259kl\u0259 h\u0259r \u015fey\u0259 nail olmaq olar v\u0259 anan\u0131n “Yox” s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc ciddiy\u0259 almaq laz\u0131m deyil.<\/p>\n

\u0130\u015fl\u0259dilm\u0259si laz\u0131m olan c\u00fcml\u0259: “Ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr\u0259m ki, \u00e7ox ist\u0259yirs\u0259n, amma bilirs\u0259n ki, bunu s\u0259n\u0259 icaz\u0259 ver\u0259 bilm\u0259r\u0259m”.<\/p>\n

“\u018fg\u0259r bir d\u0259 bel\u0259 etdiyini g\u00f6rs\u0259m – s\u0259n g\u00f6r\u0259rs\u0259n”<\/strong><\/p>\n

Praktikan\u0131n g\u00f6st\u0259rdiyi kimi, t\u0259hdidin davam\u0131 i\u015fin n\u0259tic\u0259sin\u0259 gedib \u00e7atm\u0131r. Y\u0259ni \u00e7ox vaxt valideynl\u0259r \u00f6vladlar\u0131n\u0131 c\u0259zaland\u0131rmaq ist\u0259s\u0259l\u0259r d\u0259, c\u0259zaland\u0131rm\u0131rlar. N\u0259 ana, n\u0259 d\u0259 ata c\u0259zaland\u0131rman\u0131 yerin\u0259 yetirir, u\u015faq is\u0259 n\u0259tic\u0259d\u0259 b\u0259rk qorxmu\u015f olur. Uy\u011fun c\u00fcml\u0259 u\u015faqlarda inciklik v\u0259 bacar\u0131qs\u0131zl\u0131q yarad\u0131r. U\u015faq bu v\u0259 ya \u0259ks t\u0259qdird\u0259 n\u0259yi g\u00f6zl\u0259m\u0259yin laz\u0131m oldu\u011funu d\u0259qiq bilm\u0259lidir.<\/p>\n

\u0130\u015fl\u0259dilm\u0259si laz\u0131m olan c\u00fcml\u0259: “M\u0259n s\u0259n\u0259 bu i\u015fin n\u0259tic\u0259si bar\u0259d\u0259 x\u0259b\u0259rdarl\u0131q etmi\u015fdim, buna g\u00f6r\u0259 d\u0259 incim\u0259, g\u0259r\u0259k verdiyim s\u00f6z\u00fc tutum”.<\/p>\n

“Bunu anlamal\u0131san ki…”<\/strong><\/p>\n

Bir \u00e7ox u\u015faqda bu c\u00fcml\u0259y\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131 m\u00fchafiz\u0259 reaksiyas\u0131 v\u0259 onun z\u0259hl\u0259t\u00f6k\u0259n davam\u0131 yaran\u0131r. U\u015faq \u00f6y\u00fcd-n\u0259sih\u0259t anlam\u0131r v\u0259 siz\u0259 qulaq asmadan ba\u015fqa bir \u015fey\u0259 qo\u015fulur. N\u0259sih\u0259tin daha pis q\u0259bul edilm\u0259si u\u015faqlar\u0131n h\u0259y\u0259canl\u0131, m\u0259yus v\u0259 ya q\u0259z\u0259bli anlar\u0131nda olur. Yadda saxlay\u0131n, o da h\u0259r hans\u0131 bir “problemi” ortaya \u00e7\u0131xm\u0131\u015f bir insand\u0131r v\u0259 haz\u0131rda onun d\u0259rdind\u0259dir v\u0259 sizin h\u0259tta m\u0259ntiqi v\u0259 d\u00fczg\u00fcn q\u0259rar\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 bel\u0259 he\u00e7 c\u00fcr q\u0259bul etmir.<\/p>\n

\u0130\u015fl\u0259dilm\u0259si laz\u0131m olan c\u00fcml\u0259: “G\u0259l, s\u0259ninl\u0259 bir az g\u0259z\u0259k, r\u0259sm \u00e7\u0259k\u0259ks” v\u0259 s.<\/p>\n

“O\u011flanlar (q\u0131zlar) \u00f6zl\u0259rini bu c\u00fcr aparm\u0131r!”<\/strong><\/p>\n

Bunu daim t\u0259krarlayaraq, \u00f6vladlar\u0131n\u0131 b\u0259lirl\u0259nmi\u015f stereotpl\u0259rl\u0259 cilalay\u0131rlar. Ya\u015fa dolduqda bel\u0259 art\u0131q b\u00f6y\u00fcm\u00fc\u015f olan o\u011flan \u015f\u0259xsi emosionall\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 layiq olmayan bir \u015fey kimi q\u0259bul ed\u0259c\u0259k, q\u0131z is\u0259 – qad\u0131na layiq olmayan s\u0259n\u0259t v\u0259 ya yet\u0259rinc\u0259 y\u0131\u011f\u0131\u015fd\u0131r\u0131lmam\u0131\u015f ev s\u0259b\u0259biyl\u0259 kompleks hiss ed\u0259c\u0259k.<\/p>\n

\u0130\u015fl\u0259dilm\u0259si laz\u0131m olan c\u00fcml\u0259: “Do\u011furdanm\u0131 bu s\u0259nin xo\u015funa g\u0259lir?”<\/p>\n

“Yox, bunu almayaca\u011f\u0131q – pul yoxdur!”<\/strong><\/p>\n

H\u0259r \u015feyi ard\u0131c\u0131l alma\u011f\u0131n m\u00fcmk\u00fcns\u00fczl\u00fcy\u00fcn\u00fc u\u015fa\u011fa ba\u015fa salmaq \u00e7\u0259tindir. Amma bel\u0259 \u00e7\u0131x\u0131r ki, \u0259g\u0259r ana v\u0259 atan\u0131n pulu olsa, d\u00fckanda h\u0259r bir \u015feyi almaq m\u00fcmk\u00fcnd\u00fcr! U\u015faq bu c\u00fcml\u0259ni m\u0259hz bu c\u00fcr anlay\u0131r. M\u0259g\u0259r ana v\u0259 atan\u0131n bu c\u00fcr dem\u0259si yax\u015f\u0131 deyilmi: “S\u0259nin bu c\u00fcr oyunca\u011f\u0131n art\u0131q var”, “\u00c7ox \u015fokolad yem\u0259k ziyand\u0131r”.<\/p>\n

B\u0259li, ba\u015fa salmaq h\u0259r zaman \u00e7\u0259tindir! Lakin u\u015faq valideynl\u0259rin bunu niy\u0259 onun \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn almad\u0131qlar\u0131n\u0131 anlamal\u0131d\u0131r.<\/p>\n

“Camaat\u0131n o\u011flu (q\u0131z\u0131) u\u015faq kimidir, s\u0259n is\u0259…”<\/strong><\/p>\n

“Allah\u0131n b\u0259las\u0131”, “pinti”, “axmaq” v\u0259 s. bu kimi s\u00f6zl\u0259ri u\u015faqlar\u0131n boynundan “asmaq” laz\u0131m deyil! Bu \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 d\u0259y\u0259r verm\u0259yi al\u00e7ald\u0131r v\u0259 h\u0259qiq\u0259t\u0259n u\u015faq onlara uy\u011fun g\u0259lm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flay\u0131r.<\/p>\n

\u0130\u015fl\u0259dilm\u0259si laz\u0131m olan c\u00fcml\u0259: “M\u0259n s\u0259nin yax\u015f\u0131 t\u0259r\u0259fini d\u0259, pis t\u0259r\u0259fini d\u0259 sevir\u0259m”.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

U\u015faq t\u0259rbiy\u0259si olduqca \u00e7\u0259tin v\u0259 h\u0259ssas m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259dir. Bir \u00e7ox valideyn bu m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259d\u0259 \u00e7\u0259tinlik \u00e7\u0259kir. M\u00fct\u0259x\u0259ssisl\u0259r v\u0259 u\u015faq nevropatoloqlar\u0131 hesab edir ki, bu prosesi \u00e7\u0259tinl\u0259\u015fdir\u0259n h\u0259m d\u0259 valideynl\u0259rin bilm\u0259d\u0259n v\u0259 ya b\u0259z\u0259n bil\u0259r\u0259kd\u0259n dedikl\u0259ri s\u00f6zl\u0259rdir. ARANTV.AZ Milli.az-a istinad\u0259n x\u0259b\u0259r verir ki, nevropatoloqlar\u0131n fikrinc\u0259, u\u015faqlara m\u00fc\u0259yy\u0259n s\u00f6zl\u0259ri q\u0259tiyy\u0259n dem\u0259k olmaz. Bel\u0259 ki, u\u015faqlara deyilm\u0259si m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259t g\u00f6r\u00fclm\u0259y\u0259n s\u00f6zl\u0259rd\u0259n biri “s\u0259nd\u0259 he\u00e7 n\u0259 al\u0131nm\u0131r, he\u00e7 n\u0259yi bacara bilmirs\u0259n, \u0259lind\u0259n bir i\u015f g\u0259lmir, ver, m\u0259n edim”dir. Bu c\u00fcml\u0259 u\u015fa\u011f\u0131 travmaya m\u0259ruz qoyur v\u0259 qabaqcadan onu u\u011fursuzluq \u00fczr\u0259 proqramla\u015fd\u0131r\u0131r. O \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc axmaq v\u0259 kobud hiss edir,…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":51958,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"gutentor_comment":0,"rttpg_featured_image_url":{"full":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/1170735.jpg",734,550,false],"landscape":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/1170735.jpg",734,550,false],"portraits":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/1170735.jpg",734,550,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/1170735-150x150.jpg",150,150,true],"medium":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/1170735-300x225.jpg",300,225,true],"large":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/1170735.jpg",640,480,false],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/1170735.jpg",734,550,false],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/1170735.jpg",734,550,false],"post-thumbnail":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/1170735-240x172.jpg",240,172,true],"advps-thumb-one":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/1170735.jpg",734,550,false]},"rttpg_author":{"display_name":"V\u00fcsal Rafiqo\u011flu","author_link":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/?author=2"},"rttpg_comment":0,"rttpg_category":"C\u0259miyy\u0259t<\/a>","rttpg_excerpt":"U\u015faq t\u0259rbiy\u0259si olduqca \u00e7\u0259tin v\u0259 h\u0259ssas m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259dir. Bir \u00e7ox valideyn bu m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259d\u0259 \u00e7\u0259tinlik \u00e7\u0259kir. M\u00fct\u0259x\u0259ssisl\u0259r v\u0259 u\u015faq nevropatoloqlar\u0131 hesab edir ki, bu prosesi \u00e7\u0259tinl\u0259\u015fdir\u0259n h\u0259m d\u0259 valideynl\u0259rin bilm\u0259d\u0259n v\u0259 ya b\u0259z\u0259n bil\u0259r\u0259kd\u0259n dedikl\u0259ri s\u00f6zl\u0259rdir. ARANTV.AZ Milli.az-a istinad\u0259n x\u0259b\u0259r verir ki, nevropatoloqlar\u0131n fikrinc\u0259, u\u015faqlara m\u00fc\u0259yy\u0259n s\u00f6zl\u0259ri q\u0259tiyy\u0259n dem\u0259k olmaz. Bel\u0259 ki, u\u015faqlara deyilm\u0259si m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259t g\u00f6r\u00fclm\u0259y\u0259n s\u00f6zl\u0259rd\u0259n…","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/51957"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=51957"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/51957\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/51958"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=51957"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=51957"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=51957"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}