– Atam ansambl\u0131n\u0131n ad\u0131n\u0131 \u201cDilke\u015f\u201d qoymu\u015fdu, evd\u0259 d\u0259 daha \u00e7ox \u0259r\u0259b, t\u00fcrk kanallar\u0131na bax\u0131rd\u0131q. Bir d\u0259f\u0259 bunlar\u0131n s\u0259b\u0259bini atamdan soru\u015fanda m\u0259n\u0259 dedi ki, m\u0259n musiqil\u0259rimi yazanda, onlar\u0131 ifa ed\u0259nd\u0259 el\u0259 bilir\u0259m ki, K\u0259rk\u00fckd\u0259y\u0259m. Orada ya\u015fayan az\u0259rbaycanl\u0131lar\u0131n ke\u00e7irdiyi hissl\u0259ri ke\u00e7irir\u0259m. Atam uzun ill\u0259r K\u0259rk\u00fckd\u0259ki insanlar\u0131n sevgisi, oralar\u0131 g\u00f6rm\u0259k xiff\u0259ti il\u0259 ya\u015fay\u0131b. O, d\u00fcnyas\u0131n\u0131 d\u0259yi\u015f\u0259nd\u0259n sonra arxiv idar\u0259sind\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259y\u0259n tan\u0131\u015f\u0131m\u0131zdan xahi\u015f etdim ki, bizim n\u0259slin \u015f\u0259c\u0259r\u0259sini ara\u015fd\u0131rs\u0131n. M\u0259lum oldu ki, atam\u0131n ulu babalar\u0131 \u0130raqda, K\u0259rk\u00fckd\u0259 do\u011fulublar. O, \u00f6z \u015f\u0259c\u0259r\u0259sini genetik olaraq hiss etmi\u015fdi. Bu g\u00fcn atamla ba\u011fl\u0131 bir \u00e7ox \u015feyl\u0259r\u0259 heyifsil\u0259nir\u0259m. M\u0259nim a\u011fl\u0131ma da g\u0259lm\u0259zdi ki, o, h\u0259yatdan bel\u0259 tezlikl\u0259 k\u00f6\u00e7\u0259c\u0259k.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
– Geyim\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131 \u00e7ox h\u0259ssas, t\u0259l\u0259bkar adam olub.<\/strong><\/p>\n – Anam d\u00fcnyas\u0131n\u0131 d\u0259yi\u015f\u0259nd\u0259n sonra atam\u0131n yan\u0131nda \u0259n \u00e7ox olan adam m\u0259n olmu\u015fam. O, geyimin\u0259 v\u0259 xarici g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131 \u00e7ox t\u0259l\u0259bkar idi. H\u0259r yer \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn ayr\u0131ca kostyumlar\u0131 olurdu. Ald\u0131\u011f\u0131 kostyumlar\u0131n penc\u0259k cibl\u0259rinin tiki\u015fl\u0259rini s\u00f6kd\u00fcrm\u0259zdi ki, bird\u0259n penc\u0259yin cibl\u0259ri sallanar, efird\u0259 s\u0259liq\u0259siz g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u0259r. Bir d\u0259f\u0259 dostlar\u0131ndan biri zarafatla demi\u015fdi ki, M\u0259mm\u0259dba\u011f\u0131r, dey\u0259s\u0259n, s\u0259n ma\u015f\u0131nla yox, piyada g\u0259lirs\u0259n, paltar\u0131nda birc\u0259 q\u0131r\u0131\u015f da yoxdur. Adamlar onun s\u0259liq\u0259sin\u0259 heyr\u0259t edirdil\u0259r. B\u0259z\u0259n biz eyni vaxtda eyni libaslar al\u0131rd\u0131q. Amma geyin\u0259nd\u0259n sonra onunla m\u0259nim g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fc\u015f\u00fcm\u00fcn aras\u0131nda yerl\u0259-g\u00f6y q\u0259d\u0259r f\u0259rq olurdu.<\/p>\n – Bayaq dediniz atan\u0131zla ba\u011fl\u0131 heyifsil\u0259ndiyiniz m\u0259qamlar olub. N\u0259l\u0259r\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 heyifsil\u0259nirsiniz?<\/strong><\/p>\n – Atam evd\u0259 \u0130ran mu\u011famlar\u0131n\u0131, \u0259r\u0259b, fars musiqil\u0259rini \u00e7ox g\u00f6z\u0259l ifa edirdi. Amma efird\u0259 he\u00e7 vaxt o mahn\u0131lar\u0131 oxumad\u0131. Ona heyifsil\u0259nir\u0259m ki, nahaq onun evd\u0259ki ifalar\u0131n\u0131, z\u0259ngul\u0259l\u0259rini kameraya \u00e7\u0259km\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m. \u00d6z\u00fc raz\u0131 olmasa bel\u0259, g\u0259r\u0259k gizlic\u0259 h\u0259min ifalar\u0131 kamera il\u0259 \u00e7\u0259k\u0259rdim. Bir d\u0259f\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 dedim ki, efirl\u0259rd\u0259, s\u0259syazma studiyalar\u0131nda bu mahn\u0131lardan ifa et. Dedi, s\u0259n n\u0259 dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rsan? Adamlar var, g\u00f6zl\u0259yirl\u0259r ki, m\u0259n \u0130ran musiqil\u0259ri ifa edim, ondan sonra m\u0259ni topa tutsunlar.<\/p>\n – O vaxtlar musiqiy\u0259 \u0130ran bo\u011fazlar\u0131, \u00e7alarlar\u0131 g\u0259tir\u0259nl\u0259ri b\u0259rk t\u0259nqid edirdil\u0259r.<\/strong><\/p>\n – M\u0259mm\u0259dba\u011f\u0131r Ba\u011f\u0131rzad\u0259 b\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259, Az\u0259rbaycanda yegan\u0259 m\u00fc\u011f\u0259nnidir ki, Qaraba\u011f\u0131n b\u00fct\u00fcn b\u00f6lg\u0259l\u0259rind\u0259 onu \u00e7ox sevirdil\u0259r. T\u0259s\u0259vv\u00fcr edin ki, atam A\u011fdamda Yaqub M\u0259mm\u0259dovun qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda toy apar\u0131rd\u0131. Onun qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda ifa etm\u0259k h\u0259r adam\u0131n i\u015fi deyildi. Amma atam\u0131n \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc aparmas\u0131, m\u0259d\u0259niyy\u0259ti onu sevdirmi\u015fdi. R\u0259hm\u0259tlik S\u0259xav\u0259t M\u0259mm\u0259dovla \u0259sg\u0259rlik yolda\u015f\u0131 olmu\u015fdular. Atam\u0131n toyunda Yaqub M\u0259mm\u0259dov, Arif Babayev, S\u0259xav\u0259t M\u0259mm\u0259dov oxuyub. Yaqub M\u0259mm\u0259dovun h\u0259r il k\u0259hr\u0259ba \u00fcz\u00fcm yeti\u015f\u0259nd\u0259 biz\u0259 qonaq g\u0259lm\u0259yi yad\u0131mdad\u0131r. Babam\u0131n onun \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn a\u00e7d\u0131\u011f\u0131 s\u00fcfr\u0259l\u0259rin tay\u0131-b\u0259rab\u0259ri olmazd\u0131.<\/p>\n – M\u0259mm\u0259dba\u011f\u0131r h\u0259m d\u0259 \u00e7ox k\u00f6vr\u0259k adam olub…<\/strong><\/p>\n – H\u0259ddind\u0259n art\u0131q k\u00f6vr\u0259k idi. O, \u201c\u015eur\u201d mu\u011fam\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7ox sevirdi. Hans\u0131sa musiqi v\u0259 ya bir al\u0259tin s\u0259si onun \u00fcr\u0259yin\u0259 toxunanda g\u00f6r\u00fcrd\u00fck ki, tik\u0259sini uda bilmir, a\u011flay\u0131r.<\/p>\n – \u0130lk d\u0259f\u0259 dondurma yey\u0259nd\u0259 d\u0259 a\u011flay\u0131b…<\/strong><\/p>\n – Dondurman\u0131 ilk d\u0259f\u0259 \u0259lli bir ya\u015f\u0131nda yeyib. Yad\u0131ma g\u0259lir, bac\u0131m\u0131n ya\u015f\u0131 az idi. Atam ev\u0259 z\u0259ng vuranda bac\u0131m ona dedi ki, g\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259 dondurma als\u0131n. Onda anam t\u0259z\u0259 d\u00fcnyas\u0131n\u0131 d\u0259yi\u015fmi\u015fdi. Atam c\u00fcrb\u0259c\u00fcr dondurmalar al\u0131b g\u0259tirmi\u015fdi. Bac\u0131ma dedi ki, q\u0131z\u0131m, \u00fcr\u0259yin n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r ist\u0259s\u0259 yey\u0259 bil\u0259rs\u0259n. Sonra o, \u00f6z\u00fc d\u0259 biz\u0259 qo\u015fuldu, ikisini bird\u0259n yedi. M\u0259n onda m\u0259\u0259tt\u0259l qald\u0131m. \u00c7\u00fcnki atam s\u0259sin\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 he\u00e7 vaxt dondurma yem\u0259z, soyuq i\u00e7ki i\u00e7m\u0259zdi. Bir d\u0259 g\u00f6rd\u00fck atam a\u011flay\u0131r. Bac\u0131m ondan a\u011flama\u011f\u0131n\u0131n s\u0259b\u0259bini soru\u015fdu. Atam bac\u0131m\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 s\u0131\u011fallay\u0131b dedi: \u201cM\u0259n sizin ya\u015f\u0131n\u0131zda olanda pulum yox idi dondurma alma\u011fa, sonralar da s\u0259n\u0259tim imkan verm\u0259di\u201d.<\/p>\n Ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00e7\u0259tinlikl\u0259r ona \u00e7ox t\u0259sir edirdi. Atam t\u0259k adam olub. Ona n\u0259 ata, n\u0259 \u0259mi k\u00f6m\u0259k edib. H\u0259tta, \u00f6z k\u0259nd\u00e7il\u0259rinin d\u0259 k\u00f6m\u0259yini g\u00f6rm\u0259yib. O, n\u0259 edibs\u0259, ham\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6z z\u0259hm\u0259ti say\u0259sind\u0259 edib.<\/p>\n – Sizinl\u0259 dostluq edirdi…<\/strong><\/p>\n – \u018fvv\u0259ll\u0259r anamla dostluq edirdim. Anam 44 ya\u015f\u0131nda x\u0259r\u00e7\u0259ng x\u0259st\u0259liyind\u0259n d\u00fcnyas\u0131n\u0131 d\u0259yi\u015fdi. O, d\u00fcnyas\u0131n\u0131 d\u0259yi\u015f\u0259nd\u0259n sonra m\u0259h\u0259bb\u0259timi atama sald\u0131m. Anam\u0131n ax\u0131r\u0131nc\u0131 c\u00fcm\u0259 ax\u015fam\u0131nda m\u0259nim q\u0131z\u0131m d\u00fcnyaya g\u0259ldi. Atam a\u011flaya-a\u011flaya ona anam\u0131n ad\u0131n\u0131 qoydu, amma ham\u0131m\u0131zdan xahi\u015f el\u0259di ki, he\u00e7 vaxt onun yan\u0131nda q\u0131z\u0131m\u0131 \u00f6z ad\u0131 il\u0259 \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rmayaq.<\/p>\n – Atan\u0131zla anan\u0131z bir-biril\u0259rini sevib ail\u0259 qurmu\u015fdu?<\/strong><\/p>\n – Atamla anam qohum olublar. O, anam\u0131 h\u0259ddind\u0259n art\u0131q \u00e7ox ist\u0259yirdi. Pis \u00e7\u0131xmas\u0131n, m\u0259n h\u0259l\u0259 onun q\u0259d\u0259r qad\u0131n\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7ox sev\u0259n ki\u015fi g\u00f6rm\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m. Ancaq anam da h\u0259min sevgiy\u0259, ist\u0259y\u0259 layiq qad\u0131n olub. Atam\u0131n b\u00fct\u00fcn \u015f\u0131ltaql\u0131qlar\u0131na d\u00f6zm\u0259yi bacar\u0131rd\u0131. Atamdan anama o q\u0259d\u0259r s\u00f6zl\u0259r g\u0259lib deyirdil\u0259r ki, onun yerin\u0259 ba\u015fqas\u0131 olsayd\u0131, b\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259, bacarmazd\u0131. Ona g\u00f6r\u0259 d\u0259 anam d\u00fcnyas\u0131n\u0131 d\u0259yi\u015f\u0259nd\u0259n sonra atam deyirdi ki, \u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259 q\u0259sd ed\u0259c\u0259m, gedim g\u00f6r\u00fcm, Naib\u0259 o d\u00fcnyada n\u0259 edir. Biz yalvar\u0131b yaxar\u0131rd\u0131q ona ki, el\u0259 \u015fey el\u0259m\u0259sin.<\/p>\n – Anan\u0131zdan sonra intihar etm\u0259k ist\u0259yirdi?<\/strong><\/p>\n – B\u0259li, c\u0259hd edirdi. Anamdan sonra onun psixoloji v\u0259ziyy\u0259tind\u0259 d\u0259yi\u015fiklikl\u0259r olmu\u015fdu. Tez-tez deyirdi ki, daha ya\u015famaq ist\u0259mir\u0259m, \u00f6lm\u0259k ist\u0259yir\u0259m.<\/p>\n – Atan\u0131z\u0131n x\u0259st\u0259liyi d\u0259 q\u0259fil olmu\u015fdu. O vaxta q\u0259d\u0259r s\u0259hh\u0259tind\u0259n \u015fikay\u0259tl\u0259nirdi?<\/strong><\/p>\n – Atam\u0131n x\u0259st\u0259liyi el\u0259 anamla ba\u015flad\u0131. Anam x\u0259st\u0259xanada m\u00fcayin\u0259 olunandan sonra, h\u0259kim atam\u0131 \u00e7a\u011f\u0131r\u0131b anam\u0131n x\u0259st\u0259liyinin \u015fidd\u0259tl\u0259ndiyini, \u00e7ox ya\u015famayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 x\u0259b\u0259r verdi. Atam h\u0259kiml\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fanda qarn\u0131n\u0131 qucaqlad\u0131, yerind\u0259 l\u0259ng\u0259r vurdu. Bir d\u0259qiq\u0259nin i\u00e7\u0259risind\u0259 onun r\u0259ngi sapsar\u0131 oldu. Dedi ki, o \u00f6ls\u0259, m\u0259n n\u0259 ed\u0259c\u0259y\u0259m? \u0130kinci d\u0259f\u0259 is\u0259 bac\u0131m u\u015fa\u011f\u0131 il\u0259 pill\u0259k\u0259nd\u0259n y\u0131x\u0131landa m\u0259d\u0259sind\u0259n m\u00f6hk\u0259m sanc\u0131 tutmu\u015fdu. Onda atam b\u0259rk qorxmu\u015fdu. Qap\u0131m\u0131za \u00e7atanda bizim q\u0131\u015fq\u0131r\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 e\u015fitmi\u015fdi, el\u0259 bilmi\u015fdi ki, kims\u0259 biz\u0259 h\u00fccum edib. O vaxt\u0131 qorxulu d\u00f6vr idi. Atam toydan k\u00fclli miqdarda pul qazan\u0131b g\u0259lirdi. Ham\u0131 deyirdi ki, M\u0259mm\u0259dba\u011f\u0131r h\u0259r gec\u0259 evin\u0259 ye\u015fikl\u0259 pul apar\u0131r. M\u0259n ma\u015f\u0131n h\u0259v\u0259skar\u0131 idim. Atam bahal\u0131 ma\u015f\u0131nlar alma\u011f\u0131ma raz\u0131 olmurdu. Deyirdi, olmaz, k\u0259nd yeridi, ham\u0131n\u0131n diqq\u0259ti \u00fcst\u00fcm\u00fczd\u0259dir.<\/p>\n – Nardarana ba\u011fl\u0131 adam idi…<\/strong><\/p>\n – Nardarana da, oran\u0131n ad\u0259tl\u0259rin\u0259 d\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131 idi. Bir d\u0259f\u0259 Norve\u00e7 d\u0259 daxil olmaqla bir ne\u00e7\u0259 xarici \u00f6lk\u0259y\u0259 uzun m\u00fcdd\u0259tli qastrola getmi\u015fdi. Orada b\u0131\u011flar\u0131n\u0131 q\u0131rxm\u0131\u015fd\u0131 ki, t\u0259z\u0259l\u0259nsin. Qastroldan g\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259n sonra b\u00f6y\u00fck yezn\u0259si onunla g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fm\u0259k ist\u0259yir. Yad\u0131ma g\u0259lir ki, atam \u0259lini dizin\u0259 \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131b dedi ki, indi onun yan\u0131na b\u0131\u011fs\u0131z nec\u0259 ged\u0259c\u0259y\u0259m? G\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f vacib oldu\u011fu \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn m\u0259cbur olub getmi\u015fdi. Amma \u0259vv\u0259ld\u0259n ax\u0131ra q\u0259d\u0259r b\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259n d\u0259smal\u0131 g\u00f6t\u00fcrm\u0259di, yalandan dedi ki, di\u015fimi \u00e7\u0259kdirmi\u015f\u0259m.<\/p>\n – Rahim b\u0259y, Z\u00f6hr\u0259 Abdullayeva il\u0259 atan\u0131z\u0131n sevgili olmas\u0131 haqq\u0131nda s\u00f6z-s\u00f6hb\u0259tl\u0259r uzun m\u00fcdd\u0259t s\u0259ngim\u0259di. Ancaq atan\u0131z\u0131n \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcnd\u0259n sonra Z\u00f6hr\u0259 xan\u0131m \u015fayi\u0259l\u0259ri t\u0259kzib etdi. H\u0259tta anan\u0131z\u0131n sa\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131nda atan\u0131z\u0131n ba\u015fqa bir qad\u0131nla uzun ill\u0259r m\u00fcnasib\u0259ti oldu\u011funu dil\u0259 g\u0259tirdi.<\/strong><\/p>\n – Anam h\u0259l\u0259 sa\u011f olanda atam\u0131n h\u0259yat\u0131nda ba\u015fqa qad\u0131n olub. H\u0259min qad\u0131n atam x\u0259st\u0259 oldu\u011fu d\u00f6vrl\u0259rd\u0259 d\u0259 onun z\u0259hm\u0259tini \u00e7ox \u00e7\u0259kib. Y\u0259ni bel\u0259 bir fakt olub. Z\u00f6hr\u0259 xan\u0131m haql\u0131 oldu\u011fu \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn m\u0259n he\u00e7 bir etiraz ed\u0259 bilm\u0259dim.<\/p>\n – B\u0259s anan\u0131z he\u00e7 bir etiraz etm\u0259mi\u015fdi?<\/strong><\/p>\n – M\u0259n bayaq ona g\u00f6r\u0259 deyirdim ki, m\u0259nim anam d\u00f6z\u00fcml\u00fc qad\u0131n olub. O, atamla ba\u011fl\u0131 h\u0259r \u015fey\u0259 qatla\u015f\u0131b. H\u0259m d\u0259 bilirsiniz, o d\u00f6vrd\u0259 g\u00fcc\u00fc, imkan\u0131 olan ki\u015fil\u0259r \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn iki ail\u0259 saxlamaq q\u0259bah\u0259t hesab olunmurdu. \u018fsas o idi ki, ki\u015fi \u00f6z ail\u0259sin\u0259 yax\u015f\u0131 baxs\u0131n.<\/p>\n – Atan\u0131z d\u00fcnyas\u0131n\u0131 d\u0259yi\u015f\u0259nd\u0259n sonra dostlar\u0131 t\u0259r\u0259find\u0259n siz\u0259 olan m\u00fcnasib\u0259t \u0259vv\u0259lki kimi qald\u0131, yoxsa etibars\u0131zl\u0131qlar\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fcn\u00fcz?<\/strong><\/p>\n – M\u0259nim m\u00fc\u0259yy\u0259n \u015f\u0259xsi probleml\u0259rim oldu. Bu da \u00f6z g\u00fcnahlar\u0131m v\u0259 tamah\u0131m ucbat\u0131ndan ba\u015f verdi. D\u00fczd\u00fcr, m\u0259n onun ad\u0131n\u0131 do\u011frultmaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131ram. Amma h\u0259yatda h\u0259r \u015fey ola bil\u0259r. Atam\u0131n dostlar\u0131 t\u0259r\u0259find\u0259n etibars\u0131zl\u0131q olmad\u0131. Amma musiqi\u00e7il\u0259r, m\u00fc\u011f\u0259nnil\u0259r t\u0259r\u0259find\u0259n v\u0259fas\u0131zl\u0131qlar g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. \u0130ndi d\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fcr\u0259m. Onun \u0259n yax\u0131n dostlar\u0131ndan biri Z\u00f6hr\u0259 xan\u0131m olub. H\u0259qiq\u0259t\u0259n d\u0259 ki\u015fi kimi qad\u0131nd\u0131r. Bizim ev\u0259 d\u0259 ki\u015fi kimi g\u0259lib ged\u0259rdi. Atam h\u0259rd\u0259n ona \u201cq\u0259de\u015f\u201d d\u0259 deyirdi. Bir d\u0259f\u0259 Z\u00f6hr\u0259 xan\u0131m atama dedi ki, M\u0259mm\u0259dba\u011f\u0131r, m\u0259n s\u0259nin evin\u0259, xan\u0131m\u0131n\u0131n yan\u0131na aln\u0131a\u00e7\u0131q g\u0259lib-gedir\u0259m, onun yan\u0131nda g\u00f6z\u00fcm k\u00f6lg\u0259li deyil. M\u0259n s\u00f6z\u00fcn \u0259sl m\u0259nas\u0131nda Z\u00f6hr\u0259 xan\u0131mda, Cavan\u015fir M\u0259mm\u0259dovda s\u0259daq\u0259t g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. Bu g\u00fcn\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r atam\u0131n mahn\u0131lar\u0131ndan bir q\u0259pik d\u0259 pul qazanmam\u0131\u015fam. Amma m\u00fc\u011f\u0259nnil\u0259rd\u0259n birc\u0259 xahi\u015fim var ki, atam\u0131n mahn\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 ifa ed\u0259nd\u0259 onun ad\u0131n\u0131 qeyd etsinl\u0259r, bir d\u0259 onun \u00fcslubuna toxunmas\u0131nlar. H\u0259r halda onun \u00f6z \u00fcslubu u\u011furlu al\u0131nm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. 1973-c\u00fc ild\u0259 atam yarad\u0131c\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n zirv\u0259sini ya\u015fam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. O vaxt\u0131n \u00e7\u00f6r\u0259k sat\u0131c\u0131lar\u0131 kaset sat\u0131c\u0131lar\u0131na deyirmi\u015fl\u0259r ki, M\u0259mm\u0259dba\u011f\u0131r\u0131n vallar\u0131 o q\u0259d\u0259r \u00e7ox sat\u0131l\u0131r ki, he\u00e7 biz o q\u0259d\u0259r \u00e7\u00f6r\u0259k satm\u0131r\u0131q. Atam d\u0259f\u0259l\u0259rl\u0259 toylardan qan\u0131qara g\u0259lirdi. Onun s\u0259sini yazmaqdan \u00f6tr\u00fc toyda adamlar bir-biri il\u0259 dava edirmi\u015fl\u0259r, toy \u00e7ad\u0131r\u0131n\u0131 da\u011f\u0131d\u0131rm\u0131\u015flar ki, a\u011faclar\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131ndan atam\u0131 g\u00f6r\u0259 bilsinl\u0259r. Amma atam\u0131n d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259nl\u0259ri d\u0259 var idi.<\/p>\n – Kiml\u0259r idi?<\/strong><\/p>\n – 1975-76-c\u0131 ill\u0259rd\u0259 atam \u00f6lk\u0259nin \u0259n m\u0259\u015fhur m\u00fc\u011f\u0259nnisi hesab olunurdu. H\u0259min d\u00f6vrd\u0259 \u201cKirpi\u201d jurnal\u0131nda \u201cM\u0259mm\u0259dba\u011f\u0131r, bir d\u0259 ba\u011f\u0131r\u201d ba\u015fl\u0131ql\u0131 yaz\u0131larla onu t\u0259nqid el\u0259m\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131lar. Bunu o vaxtlar b\u0259dii \u015fura q\u0259sd\u0259n t\u0259\u015fkil edirdi. \u018fl\u0259kb\u0259r Ta\u011f\u0131yev d\u0259 o d\u00f6vrd\u0259 h\u0259m b\u0259dii \u015furan\u0131n \u00fczvl\u0259rind\u0259n biri, h\u0259m d\u0259 h\u0259r \u015fey\u0259 g\u00fcc\u00fc \u00e7atan adam idi. O, atama mane olan insanlardan birincisi idi.<\/p>\n – S\u0259b\u0259b n\u0259 idi?<\/strong><\/p>\n – S\u0259b\u0259b atam\u0131n gec\u0259 toylarda oxudu\u011fu mahn\u0131lar\u0131n s\u0259h\u0259r b\u00fct\u00fcn \u00f6lk\u0259y\u0259, h\u0259tta \u0130rana, orta Asiya \u00f6lk\u0259l\u0259rin\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r yay\u0131lmas\u0131 idi. Atam\u0131n ir\u0259li getm\u0259si \u018fl\u0259kb\u0259r Ta\u011f\u0131yevin diqq\u0259tind\u0259n yay\u0131nmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Onun h\u0259min ill\u0259rd\u0259 q\u0131l\u0131nc\u0131n\u0131n dal\u0131 da k\u0259sirdi, qaba\u011f\u0131 da. \u018fl\u0259kb\u0259r Ta\u011f\u0131yev g\u00f6r\u00fcr ki, onun mahn\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r m\u0259\u015fhur m\u00fc\u011f\u0259nnil\u0259r oxusa da, M\u0259mm\u0259dba\u011f\u0131r\u0131n \u015f\u00f6hr\u0259tini \u00f6t\u00fcb ke\u00e7mir. Mahn\u0131lar\u0131 o q\u0259d\u0259r m\u0259\u015fhurluq qazanm\u0131r. Atama x\u0259b\u0259r g\u00f6nd\u0259rir ki, onun b\u0259st\u0259l\u0259rin\u0259 d\u0259 m\u00fcraci\u0259t el\u0259sin. Atam is\u0259 onun t\u0259klifind\u0259n imtina edir. Deyir, m\u0259n ancaq \u00f6z mahn\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131 oxuyuram. \u018fl\u0259kb\u0259r m\u00fc\u0259llim d\u0259 deyir ki, m\u0259n n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r sa\u011fam, M\u0259mm\u0259dba\u011f\u0131r n\u0259 radioya \u00e7\u0131xa bil\u0259c\u0259k, n\u0259 d\u0259 efir\u0259. M\u0259n ist\u0259mir\u0259m kimins\u0259 \u00fcr\u0259yin\u0259 toxunum. \u018fl\u0259kb\u0259r m\u00fc\u0259llimin o\u011flu il\u0259 dostluq edirik. Amma m\u0259nim d\u0259 ya\u015f\u0131m az deyil, ist\u0259mir\u0259m n\u0259 zamansa atama qar\u015f\u0131 olunanlar \u00fcr\u0259yimd\u0259 qals\u0131n.<\/p>\n – Amma sonralar M\u0259mm\u0259dba\u011f\u0131r \u018fl\u0259kb\u0259r Ta\u011f\u0131yevin mahn\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 da ifa edib.<\/strong><\/p>\n – 1977-ci ild\u0259 \u018fl\u0259kb\u0259r Ta\u011f\u0131yev el\u0259 bir adamla biz\u0259 g\u0259lir ki, atam ondan sonra onun t\u0259klifini q\u0259bul edir. \u018fl\u0259kb\u0259r m\u00fc\u0259llim atama deyir ki, s\u0259n h\u0259r g\u00fcn toylarda oxuyursan, bu sonra s\u0259nin \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn n\u00f6qsan olacaq. S\u0259n u\u00e7uruma do\u011fru gedirs\u0259n. \u018fg\u0259r m\u0259nim mahn\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131 oxumaq ist\u0259mirs\u0259ns\u0259, onda ba\u015fqa b\u00f6y\u00fck b\u0259st\u0259karlar\u0131n mahn\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 oxu. Bu s\u00f6hb\u0259tl\u0259r d\u0259 el\u0259 vaxtlara t\u0259sad\u00fcf edir ki, art\u0131q atam\u0131n getdiyi ki\u015fi toylar\u0131nda davalar \u00e7oxal\u0131r, adamlar yaralan\u0131r. H\u0259tta o d\u00f6vrd\u0259 atam sosializm\u0259 zidd mahn\u0131lar oxudu\u011fu \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u00fc\u00e7 g\u00fcnl\u00fck h\u0259bs d\u0259 olunur. El\u0259 \u018fl\u0259kb\u0259r Ta\u011f\u0131yevin vasit\u0259\u00e7iliyi il\u0259 atam h\u0259bsd\u0259n azad olunur. 1977-ci ild\u0259n atam art\u0131q ki\u015fi toylar\u0131n\u0131 t\u0259rgidir, ancaq kampaniya olan m\u0259clisl\u0259r\u0259 gedir. \u0130lk d\u0259f\u0259 efir\u0259 \u018fl\u0259kb\u0259r Ta\u011f\u0131yevin \u201cAz\u0259rbaycan o\u011fluyam\u201d mahn\u0131s\u0131 il\u0259 \u00e7\u0131x\u0131r. Onda da efirin G\u00fcla\u011fa M\u0259mm\u0259dov, Akif \u0130slamzad\u0259, H\u00fcseyna\u011fa Had\u0131yev, Zaur Rzayev kimi krallar\u0131 var idi. Ancaq atam orada da \u00f6z yerini tapa bilir. Y\u0259ni \u018fl\u0259kb\u0259r Ta\u011f\u0131yev o vaxt\u0131 atam\u0131n istedad\u0131n\u0131n toylarda itib-batmas\u0131n\u0131n qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 al\u0131r. \u00d6l\u0259n g\u00fcn\u00fcn\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r onun ad\u0131 atam\u0131n dilind\u0259n d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259di.<\/p>\n – X\u0259st\u0259liyi kimi \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fc d\u0259 q\u0259fil oldu.<\/strong><\/p>\n – Atam\u0131n m\u0259d\u0259si il\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131 m\u00fc\u0259yy\u0259n probleml\u0259r olurdu. Arada k\u00f6m\u00fcr i\u00e7irdi, sakitl\u0259\u015firdi. Amma, s\u0259n dem\u0259, daxild\u0259 proses gedirmi\u015f. Onda m\u0259d\u0259alt\u0131 v\u0259z z\u0259d\u0259l\u0259nib b\u0259d\u0259ni z\u0259h\u0259rl\u0259mi\u015fdi. Oktyabr\u0131n 10-da Z\u00f6hr\u0259 xan\u0131mla bir toyda ifa edirmi\u015fl\u0259r. Toydan sonra Z\u00f6hr\u0259 xan\u0131m a\u011flad\u0131, m\u0259n\u0259 dedi ki, m\u0259n Mamedi bu g\u00fcn\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r el\u0259 g\u00f6rm\u0259mi\u015fdim. Toyun sonuna q\u0259d\u0259r stoldan yap\u0131\u015f\u0131b oxudu. Sonra Z\u00f6hr\u0259 xan\u0131m, m\u0259n, bir d\u0259 atam\u0131n dostu Bax\u015f\u0259li \u0259mi il\u0259 atam\u0131 x\u0259st\u0259xanaya apard\u0131q. Atam\u0131 yoxlay\u0131b ev\u0259 buraxd\u0131lar. Oktyabr\u0131n 23-d\u0259 s\u0259h\u0259r vaxt\u0131 atam m\u0259n\u0259 z\u0259ng vurub dedi ki, Rahim a\u011fz\u0131mdan k\u00f6p\u00fck g\u0259lir. Onda ilk d\u0259f\u0259 atam\u0131n o qad\u0131nla ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 ev\u0259 getdim. Atam\u0131n ota\u011f\u0131na girdim, o, m\u0259ni g\u00f6r\u0259n kimi a\u011flad\u0131. Onu tez x\u0259st\u0259xanaya g\u0259tirdik. H\u0259kim yoxlad\u0131, m\u0259n\u0259 dedi, atan t\u0259cili \u0259m\u0259liyyat olunmasa, iki saatdan \u00e7ox ya\u015famayacaq. Aya\u011f\u0131 il\u0259 ged\u0259n adama bel\u0259 bir diaqnozun qoyulmas\u0131 m\u0259ni \u015foka sald\u0131. T\u0259xmin\u0259n iyirmi d\u0259qiq\u0259y\u0259 atam\u0131 \u0259m\u0259liyyata haz\u0131rlad\u0131lar. Amma b\u00fct\u00fcn m\u0259suliyy\u0259ti m\u0259nim boynuma qoydular. Atam m\u0259ni \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rd\u0131, \u00f6pd\u00fc qucaqlad\u0131, dedi, Rahim, m\u0259nim a\u011fz\u0131mdan yen\u0259 k\u00f6p\u00fck g\u0259ldi, m\u0259ni burdan apar.<\/p>\n – \u00d6z\u00fc \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fc hiss edirdi?<\/strong><\/p>\n – Bac\u0131lar\u0131, q\u0131zlar\u0131 il\u0259, bir d\u0259 dostu Bax\u015f\u0259li \u0259mi il\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u0259nd\u0259 a\u011flad\u0131. Qolundak\u0131 saat\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131b m\u0259n\u0259 verdi. M\u0259niml\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fm\u0259k ist\u0259y\u0259nd\u0259 raz\u0131 olmad\u0131m. Dedim, m\u0259n s\u0259ninl\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259m, \u0259m\u0259liyyatdan sa\u011f-salamat \u00e7\u0131xacaqsan, s\u0259ni g\u00f6zl\u0259yir\u0259m. \u018fm\u0259liyyat olunan ota\u011f\u0131n qap\u0131s\u0131na q\u0259d\u0259r onunla getdim. \u018fm\u0259liyyatdan d\u0259rhal sonra da m\u0259ni x\u00fcsusi geyimd\u0259 onun yan\u0131na buraxd\u0131lar. M\u0259n sonra bildim ki, atam\u0131n \u00f6l\u0259c\u0259yini h\u0259kiml\u0259r bildiyi \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn m\u0259n\u0259 bu icaz\u0259ni veribl\u0259r. H\u0259min anlarda atam\u0131n \u00e7ar\u0259sizliyini, ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 qorxular\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fcm.<\/p>\n – \u018fm\u0259liyyatdan sonra \u015f\u00fcuru a\u00e7\u0131q idi?<\/strong><\/p>\n – Yox. Yeddi g\u00fcn m\u0259n onu bir saat da t\u0259k qoymad\u0131m. Amma \u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259 deyildi. Birc\u0259 d\u0259f\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 g\u0259ldi. Dedi, bibiml\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fmaq ist\u0259yir\u0259m. Z\u0259ng vurdum bibisi il\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131. A\u011flaya-a\u011flaya dedi ki, bibi, g\u00f6r m\u0259ni n\u0259 g\u00fcn\u0259 qoydular, i\u00e7imi yard\u0131lar. Ondan sonra ikinci d\u0259f\u0259 \u0259m\u0259liyyat olundu, aparatlara qo\u015fuldu. Onun da he\u00e7 bir k\u00f6m\u0259yi olmad\u0131. H\u0259kiml\u0259r dedil\u0259r ki, atan art\u0131q ya\u015fam\u0131r, fiziki c\u0259h\u0259td\u0259n \u00e7\u00fcr\u00fcy\u00fcr. Atam\u0131n yax\u0131nlar\u0131ndan kims\u0259 onun aparatdan ayr\u0131lmas\u0131na q\u0259rar verm\u0259li idi. He\u00e7 kim buna raz\u0131l\u0131q vermirdi. H\u0259tta \u00f6z do\u011fma atas\u0131, qarda\u015flar\u0131 da raz\u0131 ola bilmirdil\u0259r. M\u0259n d\u0259 raz\u0131la\u015fa bilmirdim.<\/p>\n – Son q\u0259rar\u0131 siz verdiniz?<\/strong><\/p>\n – B\u0259li. Ham\u0131 dedi ki, o\u011flu s\u0259ns\u0259n, bu i\u015fi ancaq s\u0259n ed\u0259 bil\u0259rs\u0259n. H\u0259r gec\u0259 atam\u0131n g\u00f6z qapaqlar\u0131n\u0131 qald\u0131r\u0131b g\u00f6zl\u0259rin\u0259 bax\u0131rd\u0131m. Sonuncu d\u0259f\u0259 baxanda g\u00f6rd\u00fcm, g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn qaras\u0131 yoxdur, ancaq a\u011f\u0131 qal\u0131b. Aparatlar\u0131n hesab\u0131na n\u0259f\u0259si gedib-g\u0259lirmi\u015f. Sonra xaricd\u0259n bir professor g\u0259ldi, atam\u0131 m\u00fcayin\u0259 el\u0259di, dedi ki, yaz\u0131qd\u0131r, ona i\u015fg\u0259nc\u0259 verm\u0259yin, aparatdan ay\u0131r\u0131n. Ondan sonra m\u0259n raz\u0131la\u015fma\u011fa m\u0259cbur oldum. Atam oktyabr\u0131n 30-da d\u00fcnyas\u0131n\u0131 d\u0259yi\u015f\u0259c\u0259yini yuxuda g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. H\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 d\u0259 bu tarixd\u0259n qorxurdu. El\u0259 oktyabr\u0131n 30-da d\u0259fn olundu.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u201cAnam d\u00fcnyas\u0131n\u0131 d\u0259yi\u015f\u0259nd\u0259n sonra atam\u0131n yan\u0131nda \u0259n \u00e7ox olan adam m\u0259n olmu\u015fam. O, geyimin\u0259 v\u0259 xarici g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131 \u00e7ox t\u0259l\u0259bkar idi\u201d. Bu s\u00f6zl\u0259ri Kulis.az-a m\u00fcsahib\u0259sind\u0259 M\u0259mm\u0259dba\u011f\u0131r Ba\u011f\u0131rzad\u0259nin o\u011flu Rahim Ba\u011f\u0131rzad\u0259 deyib. – M\u0259mm\u0259dba\u011f\u0131r bak\u0131l\u0131 idi. Amma onda bak\u0131l\u0131lara xas x\u00fcsusiyy\u0259tl\u0259r o q\u0259d\u0259r d\u0259 n\u0259z\u0259r\u0259 \u00e7arpm\u0131rd\u0131. – Atam ansambl\u0131n\u0131n ad\u0131n\u0131 \u201cDilke\u015f\u201d qoymu\u015fdu, evd\u0259 d\u0259 daha \u00e7ox \u0259r\u0259b, t\u00fcrk kanallar\u0131na bax\u0131rd\u0131q. Bir d\u0259f\u0259 bunlar\u0131n s\u0259b\u0259bini atamdan soru\u015fanda m\u0259n\u0259 dedi ki, m\u0259n musiqil\u0259rimi yazanda, onlar\u0131 ifa ed\u0259nd\u0259 el\u0259 bilir\u0259m ki, K\u0259rk\u00fckd\u0259y\u0259m. Orada ya\u015fayan az\u0259rbaycanl\u0131lar\u0131n ke\u00e7irdiyi hissl\u0259ri ke\u00e7irir\u0259m. Atam uzun ill\u0259r K\u0259rk\u00fckd\u0259ki insanlar\u0131n sevgisi,…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":651293,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"gutentor_comment":0,"rttpg_featured_image_url":{"full":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/653f80ec42939653f80ec4293a1698660588653f80ec42937653f80ec42938.jpg",620,413,false],"landscape":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/653f80ec42939653f80ec4293a1698660588653f80ec42937653f80ec42938.jpg",620,413,false],"portraits":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/653f80ec42939653f80ec4293a1698660588653f80ec42937653f80ec42938.jpg",620,413,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/653f80ec42939653f80ec4293a1698660588653f80ec42937653f80ec42938-500x280.jpg",500,280,true],"medium":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/653f80ec42939653f80ec4293a1698660588653f80ec42937653f80ec42938-548x365.jpg",548,365,true],"large":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/653f80ec42939653f80ec4293a1698660588653f80ec42937653f80ec42938.jpg",620,413,false],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/653f80ec42939653f80ec4293a1698660588653f80ec42937653f80ec42938.jpg",620,413,false],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/653f80ec42939653f80ec4293a1698660588653f80ec42937653f80ec42938.jpg",620,413,false],"post-thumbnail":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/653f80ec42939653f80ec4293a1698660588653f80ec42937653f80ec42938-240x172.jpg",240,172,true],"advps-thumb-one":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/653f80ec42939653f80ec4293a1698660588653f80ec42937653f80ec42938.jpg",620,413,false]},"rttpg_author":{"display_name":"V\u00fcsal Rafiqo\u011flu","author_link":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/?author=2"},"rttpg_comment":0,"rttpg_category":"C\u0259miyy\u0259t<\/a>","rttpg_excerpt":"\u201cAnam d\u00fcnyas\u0131n\u0131 d\u0259yi\u015f\u0259nd\u0259n sonra atam\u0131n yan\u0131nda \u0259n \u00e7ox olan adam m\u0259n olmu\u015fam. O, geyimin\u0259 v\u0259 xarici g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131 \u00e7ox t\u0259l\u0259bkar idi\u201d. Bu s\u00f6zl\u0259ri Kulis.az-a m\u00fcsahib\u0259sind\u0259 M\u0259mm\u0259dba\u011f\u0131r Ba\u011f\u0131rzad\u0259nin o\u011flu Rahim Ba\u011f\u0131rzad\u0259 deyib. – M\u0259mm\u0259dba\u011f\u0131r bak\u0131l\u0131 idi. Amma onda bak\u0131l\u0131lara xas x\u00fcsusiyy\u0259tl\u0259r o q\u0259d\u0259r d\u0259 n\u0259z\u0259r\u0259 \u00e7arpm\u0131rd\u0131. – Atam ansambl\u0131n\u0131n ad\u0131n\u0131 \u201cDilke\u015f\u201d qoymu\u015fdu, evd\u0259 d\u0259 daha \u00e7ox…","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/651291"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=651291"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/651291\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/651293"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=651291"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=651291"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=651291"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}<\/p>\n
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