{"id":72819,"date":"2019-08-13T08:05:33","date_gmt":"2019-08-13T05:05:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/arantv.az\/?p=72819"},"modified":"2019-08-13T08:05:33","modified_gmt":"2019-08-13T05:05:33","slug":"bosana-bilm%c9%99y%c9%99n-qadinlar","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/?p=72819","title":{"rendered":"Bo\u015fana bilm\u0259y\u0259n qad\u0131nlar"},"content":{"rendered":"

Bo\u015fanmaq ail\u0259 qurmaq q\u0259d\u0259r t\u0259bii hald\u0131r. He\u00e7 bir normal adam g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259kd\u0259 ayr\u0131lmaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn evl\u0259nmir. Amma h\u0259yatd\u0131r, kims\u0259 sabah\u0131ndan s\u0131\u011fortalanmay\u0131b. \u018fn m\u00f6hk\u0259m ail\u0259 d\u0259 g\u00fcn\u00fcn birind\u0259 da\u011f\u0131la bil\u0259r. Odur ki, taleyin\u0259 ayr\u0131l\u0131q yaz\u0131lm\u0131\u015f insanlara t\u0259n\u0259 etm\u0259yin, q\u0131namay\u0131n, sabah sizin d\u0259 ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131za g\u0259l\u0259 bil\u0259r.<\/b><\/p>\n

Bir s\u00f6zl\u0259, nikaha xitam verilm\u0259si m\u00fcmk\u00fcn, normal, h\u0259r k\u0259sin ya\u015faya bil\u0259c\u0259yi bir sosial hadis\u0259dir. Di g\u0259l, h\u0259r il \u00f6lk\u0259mizd\u0259 bo\u015fanma il\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131 \u00e7ox sayda ail\u0259 faci\u0259si ba\u015f verir. El\u0259 \u00f6t\u0259n h\u0259ft\u0259 \u015e\u0259mkird\u0259 bir ki\u015fi ayr\u0131lmaq ist\u0259y\u0259n arvad\u0131n\u0131 b\u0131\u00e7aqlay\u0131b. \u00dcr\u0259yi soyumay\u0131b, 4 ya\u015fl\u0131 q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131n da \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 benzin t\u00f6k\u0259r\u0259k yand\u0131rma\u011fa c\u0259hd edib. Guya arvad\u0131 evd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xsa, namusu kirl\u0259n\u0259c\u0259k, q\u0131z\u0131 da anas\u0131na bax\u0131b, b\u00f6y\u00fcy\u0259nd\u0259 fahi\u015f\u0259 olacaq.
\nBudur, bizim milli d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259d\u0259 bo\u015fanmaq anlay\u0131\u015f\u0131: qad\u0131n \u0259rind\u0259n ayr\u0131larsa, pis yola d\u00fc\u015f\u0259c\u0259k, dul qad\u0131na ham\u0131 sata\u015facaq, h\u0259l\u0259 q\u0131z \u00f6vlad\u0131 varsa, o da pozulacaq. N\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r a\u011f\u0131ls\u0131z, iftira dolu, qad\u0131n\u0131 \u0259zm\u0259y\u0259 y\u00f6n\u0259l\u0259n bir mental d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259dir, deyilmi?<\/p>\n

Tovuzdan t\u0259l\u0259b\u0259 yolda\u015f\u0131m vard\u0131, el\u0259 birinci kursda oxuyanda imkanl\u0131 dul ki\u015fi il\u0259 ail\u0259 qurmu\u015fdu. \u018frinin birinci nikahdan \u00f6vlad\u0131 olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn ikinci d\u0259f\u0259 evl\u0259nmi\u015fdi. Nigar dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131 ki, Faiq toydan sonra da birinci arvad\u0131na ba\u015f \u00e7\u0259kir, bazarl\u0131q edir, pul verirmi\u015f. \u018fvv\u0259l q\u0131z el\u0259 z\u0259nn edib ki, ke\u00e7mi\u015f arvadla m\u00fcnasib\u0259tl\u0259ri sad\u0259c\u0259 yard\u0131m xarakterlidir. Sonradan ortaya \u00e7\u0131x\u0131b ki, b\u0259s \u0259ri onu da arvad kimi saxlay\u0131r, sad\u0259c\u0259 r\u0259smi \u015f\u0259kild\u0259 bo\u015fan\u0131b ki, ikinci d\u0259f\u0259 evl\u0259n\u0259 bilsin. Nigar m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259ni bil\u0259nd\u0259n sonra dava sal\u0131b, atas\u0131 evin\u0259 qay\u0131tm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Bo\u015fanmaq ist\u0259s\u0259 d\u0259, valideynl\u0259ri “Bu ya\u015fda dul qalmaq olmaz, cavan g\u0259linin ad\u0131na tez s\u00f6z \u00e7\u0131xar”, – deyib, a\u011flada-a\u011flada \u0259r evin\u0259 geri yollam\u0131\u015fd\u0131lar.<\/p>\n

Bir ne\u00e7\u0259 ay sonra Faiqin a\u011fl\u0131na daha “parlaq” fikir g\u0259lir, arvadlar\u0131n\u0131 dostla\u015fd\u0131rma\u011fa q\u0259rar verir. Birinci arvad\u0131n\u0131 Nigar\u0131n ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 m\u0259nzil\u0259 qonaq g\u0259tirir. R\u0259fiq\u0259m ikiarvadl\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 he\u00e7 c\u00fcr q\u0259bul ed\u0259 bilmir, \u0259rin\u0259 nifr\u0259t b\u0259sl\u0259yirdi.<\/p>\n

Aylar \u00f6td\u00fckc\u0259, yolda\u015f\u0131 Nigara daha \u00e7ox \u0259ziyy\u0259t edirdi. Qap\u0131n\u0131 \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 ba\u011flay\u0131b, g\u00fcnl\u0259rl\u0259 ev\u0259 g\u0259lmirdi. \u00d6z\u00fc birinci arvad\u0131n yan\u0131nda ya\u015fay\u0131r, t\u0259l\u0259b\u0259 yolda\u015f\u0131m is\u0259 evd\u0259 t\u0259k v\u0259 ac qal\u0131rd\u0131. Bir d\u0259 e\u015fitdik ki, Nigar intihara c\u0259hd edib. Q\u0131zlarla ba\u015f \u00e7\u0259km\u0259y\u0259 getdik. Sirk\u0259 tur\u015fusu i\u00e7mi\u015fdi. H\u0259yat\u0131n\u0131 xilas ed\u0259 bils\u0259l\u0259r d\u0259, bo\u011faz\u0131 v\u0259 m\u0259d\u0259si yanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Anas\u0131 a\u011flay\u0131r, dizin\u0259 d\u00f6y\u00fcr, k\u00fcr\u0259k\u0259nin\u0259 qar\u011f\u0131y\u0131r, amma yen\u0259 d\u0259 \u00f6vlad\u0131n\u0131n bo\u015fanmas\u0131na raz\u0131 olmurdu.
\nQ\u0131z\u0131 \u0259r evind\u0259 z\u00fclm \u00e7\u0259k\u0259n, amma yolda\u015f\u0131ndan ayr\u0131lmas\u0131na icaz\u0259 verm\u0259y\u0259n ba\u015fqa valideynl\u0259r d\u0259 tan\u0131y\u0131ram. El\u0259 \u00f6z qohumlar\u0131m\u0131n s\u0131ras\u0131nda da var. D\u0259f\u0259l\u0259rl\u0259 s\u00f6hb\u0259t d\u0259 etmi\u015f\u0259m, he\u00e7 c\u00fcr ata-anan\u0131 yola g\u0259tirm\u0259k olmur. Deyirs\u0259n ki, q\u0131z\u0131na yaz\u0131\u011f\u0131n g\u0259lmir, bir g\u00fcn d\u00f6zm\u0259yib \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc \u00f6ld\u00fcrs\u0259, n\u0259 ed\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n? G\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn ya\u015f\u0131n\u0131 ax\u0131d\u0131r, amma \u0259r evind\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xma\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ist\u0259mir. Adam d\u0259h\u015f\u0259t\u0259 g\u0259lir! El\u0259 bil \u00f6vladlar\u0131n\u0131 diri-diri m\u0259zara qoyurlar. Q\u0131namaq ist\u0259m\u0259s\u0259m d\u0259, bel\u0259 \u00f6vlad sevgisi m\u0259n\u0259 \u00e7atm\u0131r: \u00f6ls\u0259 d\u0259, qalsa da, \u0259rinin yan\u0131nda olsun.
\nNiy\u0259sini soru\u015fanda da m\u00fcxt\u0259lif s\u0259b\u0259bl\u0259r sadalay\u0131rlar. \u018fn \u00e7ox dil\u0259 g\u0259tirdikl\u0259ri iki amildir: namus v\u0259 maddiyyat. El\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrl\u0259r ki, q\u0131z bo\u015fansa, namus \u0259ld\u0259n ged\u0259c\u0259k. Guya qad\u0131n\u0131n \u0259xlaq ke\u015fik\u00e7isi h\u0259yat yolda\u015f\u0131d\u0131r. Dig\u0259r valideynl\u0259r is\u0259 dolan\u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 n\u0259z\u0259r\u0259 al\u0131r. Geri qay\u0131dan q\u0131za v\u0259 n\u0259v\u0259l\u0259r\u0259 baxmaq onlara \u00e7\u0259tin g\u0259lir.
\nBel\u0259! Mental d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259 v\u0259 yoxsulluq qad\u0131nlar\u0131n h\u0259yat\u0131n\u0131 c\u0259h\u0259nn\u0259m\u0259 \u00e7evirir. T\u0259hsilsiz, bir pe\u015f\u0259y\u0259 sahib olmayan, pul qazanma\u011f\u0131 bacarmayan q\u0131zlar\u0131n \u0259r qazanc\u0131ndan ba\u015fqa \u00e7\u00f6r\u0259yi olmur. Ki\u015fid\u0259n maddi as\u0131l\u0131l\u0131q onlar\u0131 susma\u011fa, d\u00f6zm\u0259y\u0259 m\u0259cbur edir. Qad\u0131n\u0131n bel\u0259 bir z\u0259ifliyini bil\u0259n \u0259r is\u0259 bundan \u00e7ox “m\u0259har\u0259t”l\u0259 v\u0259 insafs\u0131zcas\u0131na istifad\u0259 edir. Arvadla nec\u0259 ist\u0259yirs\u0259, el\u0259 d\u0259 davran\u0131r: d\u00f6y\u00fcr, s\u00f6y\u00fcr, al\u00e7ald\u0131r. El aras\u0131nda da eynisi deyilmirmi? \u018fr ist\u0259r sev\u0259r, ist\u0259r d\u00f6y\u0259r. Ki\u015fi pulsuz, g\u00fccs\u00fcz, arxas\u0131z arvad\u0131na sahibsiz adam kimi bax\u0131r v\u0259 bu durum \u0259ri t\u0259dric\u0259n arvad\u0131n a\u011fas\u0131na \u00e7evirir.<\/p>\n

Q\u0131z\u0131 olan valideynl\u0259r, \u00f6vlad\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259kd\u0259 ba\u015f\u0131qapazl\u0131, kimins\u0259 k\u00f6l\u0259si kimi g\u00f6rm\u0259k ist\u0259mirsinizs\u0259, cehiz y\u0131\u011fmaqdansa, ona t\u0259hsil verin. \u018fn az\u0131 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 v\u0259 u\u015faqlar\u0131na baxa bil\u0259c\u0259k pe\u015f\u0259si olsun. El\u0259c\u0259 d\u0259 bo\u015fanmaqla ba\u011fl\u0131 stereotipl\u0259ri s\u0131nd\u0131r\u0131n. Qohum-qon\u015funun n\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u0259c\u0259yin\u0259 \u00f6n\u0259m verib, balan\u0131z\u0131 \u0259r z\u00fclm\u00fcnd\u0259 saxlamay\u0131n, ona sahib \u00e7\u0131x\u0131n.<\/p>\n

\u018flb\u0259tt\u0259 ki, ail\u0259nin da\u011f\u0131lmas\u0131n\u0131 kims\u0259 ist\u0259m\u0259z. B\u00fct\u00fcn halda bo\u015fanma k\u0259d\u0259rli v\u0259 a\u011fr\u0131l\u0131 prosesdir. \u018fr-arvad m\u00fcmk\u00fcn q\u0259d\u0259r yuvan\u0131 qoruma\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmal\u0131d\u0131r. Amma \u0259g\u0259r evlilik qad\u0131n\u0131 \u0259zir, \u015f\u0259xsiyy\u0259t kimi m\u0259hv edir, fiziki v\u0259 psixoloji i\u015fg\u0259nc\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7evrilirs\u0259, nikaha xitam verilm\u0259si \u015f\u0259rtdir. Siz \u00f6vladlar\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcb, \u0259rd\u0259n ayr\u0131lmaq ist\u0259mirsiniz. Amma bo\u015fanm\u0131\u015f ail\u0259nin \u00f6vlad\u0131 olaraq \u0259minlikl\u0259 dey\u0259 bil\u0259r\u0259m ki, m\u00fcnaqi\u015f\u0259li ail\u0259d\u0259 b\u00f6y\u00fcy\u0259n u\u015faqlar daha travmal\u0131 olur.<\/p>\n

V\u0259 \u0259n \u0259sas\u0131 unutmay\u0131n: bo\u015fanmaq qad\u0131n\u0131n konstitusion h\u00fcququ v\u0259 azadl\u0131\u011f\u0131d\u0131r. \u018fri t\u0259r\u0259find\u0259n d\u00f6y\u00fcl\u0259n, s\u00f6y\u00fcl\u0259n, t\u0259hqir olunan, \u015fidd\u0259t g\u00f6r\u0259n, x\u0259sar\u0259t alan, di\u015fi s\u0131nd\u0131r\u0131lan, k\u00f6l\u0259 kimi r\u0259ftar edil\u0259n qad\u0131nlar, haqq\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 kims\u0259y\u0259 \u0259zdirm\u0259yin: n\u0259 \u0259r\u0259, n\u0259 valideyn\u0259, n\u0259 d\u0259 “camaat” deyil\u0259n k\u00fctl\u0259y\u0259! Yaln\u0131z o zaman g\u00fccl\u00fc v\u0259 s\u00f6z sahibi olacaqs\u0131n\u0131z. Bunu t\u0259k \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcz \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn deyil, h\u0259m d\u0259 \u00f6vlad\u0131n\u0131z v\u0259 i\u015f\u0131ql\u0131 c\u0259miyy\u0259t \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn edin.<\/p>\n

K\u00f6n\u00fcl C\u0259f\u0259rli<\/h2>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Bo\u015fanmaq ail\u0259 qurmaq q\u0259d\u0259r t\u0259bii hald\u0131r. He\u00e7 bir normal adam g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259kd\u0259 ayr\u0131lmaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn evl\u0259nmir. Amma h\u0259yatd\u0131r, kims\u0259 sabah\u0131ndan s\u0131\u011fortalanmay\u0131b. \u018fn m\u00f6hk\u0259m ail\u0259 d\u0259 g\u00fcn\u00fcn birind\u0259 da\u011f\u0131la bil\u0259r. Odur ki, taleyin\u0259 ayr\u0131l\u0131q yaz\u0131lm\u0131\u015f insanlara t\u0259n\u0259 etm\u0259yin, q\u0131namay\u0131n, sabah sizin d\u0259 ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131za g\u0259l\u0259 bil\u0259r. Bir s\u00f6zl\u0259, nikaha xitam verilm\u0259si m\u00fcmk\u00fcn, normal, h\u0259r k\u0259sin ya\u015faya bil\u0259c\u0259yi bir sosial hadis\u0259dir. Di g\u0259l, h\u0259r il \u00f6lk\u0259mizd\u0259 bo\u015fanma il\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131 \u00e7ox sayda ail\u0259 faci\u0259si ba\u015f verir. El\u0259 \u00f6t\u0259n h\u0259ft\u0259 \u015e\u0259mkird\u0259 bir ki\u015fi ayr\u0131lmaq ist\u0259y\u0259n arvad\u0131n\u0131 b\u0131\u00e7aqlay\u0131b. \u00dcr\u0259yi soyumay\u0131b, 4 ya\u015fl\u0131 q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131n da \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 benzin t\u00f6k\u0259r\u0259k yand\u0131rma\u011fa…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":72820,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"gutentor_comment":0,"rttpg_featured_image_url":{"full":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/1565638992_66001.jpg",585,379,false],"landscape":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/1565638992_66001.jpg",585,379,false],"portraits":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/1565638992_66001.jpg",585,379,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/1565638992_66001-150x150.jpg",150,150,true],"medium":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/1565638992_66001-300x194.jpg",300,194,true],"large":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/1565638992_66001.jpg",585,379,false],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/1565638992_66001.jpg",585,379,false],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/1565638992_66001.jpg",585,379,false],"post-thumbnail":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/1565638992_66001-240x172.jpg",240,172,true],"advps-thumb-one":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/1565638992_66001.jpg",585,379,false]},"rttpg_author":{"display_name":"V\u00fcsal Rafiqo\u011flu","author_link":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/?author=2"},"rttpg_comment":0,"rttpg_category":"C\u0259miyy\u0259t<\/a>","rttpg_excerpt":"Bo\u015fanmaq ail\u0259 qurmaq q\u0259d\u0259r t\u0259bii hald\u0131r. He\u00e7 bir normal adam g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259kd\u0259 ayr\u0131lmaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn evl\u0259nmir. Amma h\u0259yatd\u0131r, kims\u0259 sabah\u0131ndan s\u0131\u011fortalanmay\u0131b. \u018fn m\u00f6hk\u0259m ail\u0259 d\u0259 g\u00fcn\u00fcn birind\u0259 da\u011f\u0131la bil\u0259r. Odur ki, taleyin\u0259 ayr\u0131l\u0131q yaz\u0131lm\u0131\u015f insanlara t\u0259n\u0259 etm\u0259yin, q\u0131namay\u0131n, sabah sizin d\u0259 ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131za g\u0259l\u0259 bil\u0259r. Bir s\u00f6zl\u0259, nikaha xitam verilm\u0259si m\u00fcmk\u00fcn, normal, h\u0259r k\u0259sin ya\u015faya bil\u0259c\u0259yi bir sosial…","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/72819"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=72819"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/72819\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/72820"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=72819"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=72819"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=72819"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}