Erk\u0259n nikahlarda b\u0259kar\u0259t amili
\nErk\u0259n evlilikl\u0259rin bir s\u0259b\u0259bi d\u0259 b\u0259kar\u0259t tabusuyla ba\u011fl\u0131d\u0131r. Valideyn q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131n b\u0259kar\u0259tinin \u0259ld\u0259n getm\u0259sind\u0259n qorxaraq tez-t\u0259l\u0259sik onu \u0259r\u0259 verm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131r.<\/p>\n
Bel\u0259 ifad\u0259l\u0259ri tez-tez e\u015fidirik: \u201cGec\u0259 vaxt\u0131 k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xma, q\u0131z u\u015fa\u011f\u0131san\u201d, \u201cAx\u015fama d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259, q\u0131z u\u015fa\u011f\u0131san, ba\u015f\u0131na bir i\u015f g\u0259l\u0259r\u201d v\u0259 s.<\/p>\n
Bu s\u00f6zl\u0259rd\u0259n bu n\u0259tic\u0259y\u0259 g\u0259lm\u0259k olar ki, valideyn q\u0131z\u0131ndan \u00e7ox onun b\u0259kar\u0259tinin qay\u011f\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u0259kir. Bel\u0259 \u00e7\u0131x\u0131r, evli qad\u0131n gec\u0259 vaxt\u0131 k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xa bil\u0259r, t\u0259cav\u00fcz\u0259 tu\u015f g\u0259l\u0259 bil\u0259r, nec\u0259 olsa, b\u0259kar\u0259tini itirm\u0259k kimi bir problemi yoxdur.<\/p>\n
Sosioloqun \u201cb\u0259kar\u0259t problemi aradan qald\u0131r\u0131lmal\u0131d\u0131r\u201d yaz\u0131s\u0131ndan sonra \u0259n az\u0131 m\u00fczakir\u0259 xarakterli r\u0259yl\u0259rin olaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6zl\u0259yirdim. Amma aqressiv m\u00fcnasib\u0259tin \u015fahidi oldum. H\u0259tta \u201c\u0259xlaqs\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131 t\u0259bli\u011f edirl\u0259r\u201d kimi \u201c\u015f\u00fcar\u201dlar ir\u0259li s\u00fcr\u00fcld\u00fc. M\u0259g\u0259r \u0259xlaq – b\u0259kar\u0259tin qorunub saxlan\u0131lmas\u0131 il\u0259 \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fcl\u00fcr? M\u0259g\u0259r fahi\u015f\u0259l\u0259r b\u0259kar\u0259tl\u0259rini evl\u0259nm\u0259d\u0259n itirdikl\u0259ri \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn bu yola c\u0259lb olunublar? Yoxsa, toy gec\u0259si b\u0259kar\u0259tini itir\u0259n qad\u0131n \u00f6m\u00fcrl\u00fck safl\u0131\u011f\u0131n t\u0259c\u0259ss\u00fcm\u00fcn\u0259 \u00e7evrilir? Toy gec\u0259sind\u0259n \u0259vv\u0259l b\u0259kar\u0259tini itirmi\u015f ne\u00e7\u0259 qad\u0131n tan\u0131y\u0131ram ki, sadiq h\u0259yat yolda\u015f\u0131d\u0131rlar v\u0259 b\u0259kar\u0259tini toy gec\u0259si itir\u0259n qad\u0131nlar tan\u0131y\u0131ram ki, s\u0259daq\u0259tin n\u0259 oldu\u011funu he\u00e7 bilmirl\u0259r.<\/p>\n
D\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc des\u0259m, b\u0259kar\u0259td\u0259n yazark\u0259n \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc hindu q\u0259bil\u0259sinin bir n\u00fcmay\u0259nd\u0259si kimi hiss edir\u0259m. O h\u0259min hindu q\u0259bil\u0259sidir ki, q\u0131zlar\u0131n bakir\u0259liyini ciddi \u015f\u0259kild\u0259 n\u0259zar\u0259td\u0259 saxlay\u0131r. \u0130nsanlar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n d\u00fcnyag\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fc o c\u0259ng\u0259llikl\u0259rd\u0259n \u00e7ox uza\u011fa getm\u0259yib.<\/p>\n
\u018fg\u0259r problem toy gec\u0259si \u0259ld\u0259 edilm\u0259li olan d\u00f6\u015f\u0259ka\u011f\u0131dad\u0131rsa, g\u0259nc q\u0131zlar bunun \u00e7ar\u0259sini \u00e7oxdan tap\u0131blar. Himenoplastikadan y\u0259qin ki, \u00e7oxlar\u0131 x\u0259b\u0259rdard\u0131r. Tan\u0131\u015f\u0131m\u0131z \u0259m\u0259liyyatdan sonra onun yatd\u0131\u011f\u0131 ota\u011fa g\u0259tiril\u0259n q\u0131z\u0131n kimliyil\u0259 maraqlananda tibb bac\u0131s\u0131 \u201ctoyqaba\u011f\u0131 b\u0259kar\u0259tini b\u0259rpa etdirib, narkozdan ay\u0131ls\u0131n, ev\u0259 g\u00f6nd\u0259r\u0259c\u0259yik\u201d, deyib. Bu \u0259m\u0259liyyatlar art\u0131q he\u00e7 kimi t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u0259ndirmir. H\u0259tta \u0259r\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259n bir q\u0131z bakir\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xmayanda o\u011flan\u0131n qohumlar\u0131 deyirmi\u015f ki, m\u00fcasir q\u0131zd\u0131r, amma himenoplastikadan, m\u00fcmk\u00fcn olan vasit\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259n x\u0259b\u0259ri yoxdur. Madam g\u0259lin g\u0259lirs\u0259n, niy\u0259 b\u0259kar\u0259tini b\u0259rpa etdirm\u0259mis\u0259n? Bel\u0259 \u00e7\u0131x\u0131r ki, aldatma\u011f\u0131n da \u00f6z n\u00f6vl\u0259ri var.<\/p>\n
Dig\u0259r t\u0259r\u0259fd\u0259n, el\u0259 bil qad\u0131n\u0131n hissl\u0259ri, ehtiyaclar\u0131 yoxdur. \u018fg\u0259r qad\u0131n\u0131n \u0259r\u0259 getm\u0259k imkan\u0131 yoxdursa, bioloji t\u0259l\u0259bat\u0131n\u0131 nec\u0259 t\u0259min etm\u0259lidir? Bu arxaik ad\u0259tl\u0259r insanl\u0131qdan uzaq d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259ni t\u0259lqin edir. \u0130nsan \u00f6l\u0259n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r \u0259zab \u00e7\u0259km\u0259lidir, x\u0259st\u0259likl\u0259r\u0259 m\u0259ruz qalmal\u0131d\u0131r, amma b\u0259kar\u0259tini \u0259ld\u0259n verm\u0259m\u0259lidir.<\/p>\n
\u018fcn\u0259bi xalqlar bel\u0259 bir arxaik anlay\u0131\u015f\u0131n m\u00f6vcud oldu\u011fu patriarxal toplumlardan \u00fcr\u0259ka\u011fr\u0131s\u0131yla b\u0259hs edirl\u0259r. Onlar bunu qad\u0131nlar \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u201cal\u00e7ald\u0131c\u0131 durum\u201d adland\u0131r\u0131rlar. H\u0259tta bu tabular Afrikadak\u0131 \u0259n\u0259n\u0259l\u0259rl\u0259 m\u00fcqayis\u0259 olunur. B\u0259zi Afrika tayfalar\u0131 b\u0259kar\u0259t m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259sin\u0259 el\u0259 \u201ch\u0259ssasl\u0131qla\u201d yana\u015f\u0131rlar ki, qad\u0131n\u0131n h\u0259yat\u0131n\u0131 iki m\u0259rh\u0259l\u0259y\u0259 b\u00f6l\u00fcrl\u0259r: b\u0259kar\u0259tini itirm\u0259zd\u0259n \u0259vv\u0259l v\u0259 sonra.<\/p>\n
Maraq do\u011furan bir m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259 var. \u018fxlaqs\u0131zl\u0131q anlay\u0131\u015f\u0131 niy\u0259 ancaq qad\u0131nlarla ba\u011fl\u0131 m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259l\u0259r \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fcl\u0259nd\u0259 yada d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr? Ail\u0259 qurana q\u0259d\u0259r ne\u00e7\u0259 qad\u0131nla g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u0259n, h\u0259tta evl\u0259n\u0259nd\u0259n sonra da k\u0259narda \u0259yl\u0259nc\u0259 axtaran ki\u015fi \u0259xlaqs\u0131z say\u0131lm\u0131rm\u0131? \u018fg\u0259r bakir\u0259lik bu q\u0259d\u0259r \u00f6n\u0259mlidirs\u0259, onda g\u0259nc o\u011flanlardan da g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259k h\u0259yat yolda\u015flar\u0131na sadiq qalma\u011f\u0131 t\u0259l\u0259b ed\u0259k. Qoy onlar da q\u0131zlar kimi saf v\u0259 m\u0259sum \u015f\u0259kild\u0259 evl\u0259n\u0259c\u0259kl\u0259ri g\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00f6zl\u0259sinl\u0259r. \u201cKi\u015fil\u0259rl\u0259 qad\u0131nlar\u0131 m\u00fcqayis\u0259 etm\u0259yin\u201d, dey\u0259nd\u0259 yad\u0131ma Lin\u00e7 qanunu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr. Kimin \u201cz\u0259nci\u201d, kimin \u201ca\u011fd\u0259rili\u201d oldu\u011funu m\u00fc\u0259yy\u0259n etm\u0259k is\u0259 \u00e7\u0259tin deyil.<\/p>\n
B\u0259kar\u0259t tabusu \u00e7ox qad\u0131nlar\u0131n h\u0259yat\u0131n\u0131 m\u0259hv edib. B\u0259kar\u0259tini itir\u0259c\u0259yi qorxusundan qar\u015f\u0131 cinsl\u0259 normal m\u00fcnasib\u0259t qura bilm\u0259y\u0259n qad\u0131nlar \u00f6zl\u0259rini t\u0259nhal\u0131\u011fa m\u0259hkum edibl\u0259r. Ya da \u0259ksin\u0259 hans\u0131sa t\u0259sad\u00fcfi q\u0259za n\u0259tic\u0259sind\u0259 b\u0259kar\u0259td\u0259n m\u0259hrum olan q\u0131zlar intihar edibl\u0259r, toy gec\u0259si \u201ct\u0259hqir olunmu\u015f\u201d \u0259r t\u0259r\u0259find\u0259n d\u00f6y\u00fcl\u00fcb, \u00f6ld\u00fcr\u00fcl\u00fcb, k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259y\u0259 at\u0131l\u0131blar. H\u0259tta bakir\u0259liyi qiym\u0259tli x\u0259zin\u0259 kimi qoruyub saxlam\u0131\u015f qad\u0131nlar da qar\u015f\u0131 t\u0259r\u0259fin t\u0259zyiql\u0259rind\u0259n yaxa qurtara bilm\u0259yibl\u0259r.<\/p>\n
Bu yax\u0131nlarda bel\u0259 bir olay ba\u015f verib. 24 ya\u015fl\u0131 t\u0259z\u0259b\u0259y toy gec\u0259si g\u0259linin bakir\u0259 olmamas\u0131ndan \u015f\u00fcbh\u0259l\u0259nir. T\u0259z\u0259 g\u0259linin m\u0259sumlu\u011funa he\u00e7 c\u00fcr inanmayan \u0259r onu tibbi ekspertizadan ke\u00e7irir. Ekspertiza iki d\u0259f\u0259 eyni r\u0259yi verir. S\u00fcbut olunur ki, g\u0259lin toy gec\u0259sin\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r cinsi \u0259laq\u0259d\u0259 olmay\u0131b. Ancaq \u0259r onu ittiham etm\u0259kd\u0259 davam edir. B\u00fct\u00fcn bu t\u0259zyiql\u0259r\u0259 d\u00f6z\u0259 bilm\u0259y\u0259n qad\u0131n sonunda sirk\u0259 tur\u015fusu i\u00e7\u0259r\u0259k intihar edir. Onu intihar h\u0259ddin\u0259 \u00e7atd\u0131ran adam is\u0259 azadl\u0131qdan m\u0259hrum edilir. Bax\u0131n, g\u0259r\u0259ksiz, cahilc\u0259 bir \u00f6nyar\u011f\u0131 g\u0259nc ail\u0259nin h\u0259yat\u0131n\u0131 nec\u0259 m\u0259hv etdi. V\u0259 bu n\u00fcmun\u0259l\u0259r kifay\u0259t q\u0259d\u0259rdir.<\/p>\n
B\u0259zi ki\u015fil\u0259r evl\u0259nm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn azya\u015fl\u0131lar\u0131 se\u00e7irl\u0259r. \u201cAman, \u0259lin\u0259 ki\u015fi \u0259li d\u0259ym\u0259sin\u201d. Nec\u0259 dey\u0259rl\u0259r, \u201cxain xoflu olar\u201d. Halbuki b\u0259kar\u0259t m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259si ya\u015fla ba\u011fl\u0131 bir durum deyil. Ya\u015f\u0131 40-\u0131 \u00f6tm\u00fc\u015f, amma h\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259 b\u0259xtl\u0259rinin a\u00e7\u0131laca\u011f\u0131 \u00fcmidil\u0259 b\u0259kar\u0259tl\u0259rini qoruyub-saxlam\u0131\u015f q\u0131zlar var. C\u0259miyy\u0259timizd\u0259 is\u0259 bel\u0259 bir d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259 t\u0259rzi h\u00f6km s\u00fcr\u00fcr ki, azya\u015fl\u0131d\u0131rsa, dem\u0259li bakir\u0259dir, bu m\u00fcdd\u0259td\u0259 ki\u015fil\u0259rl\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fm\u0259y\u0259 sad\u0259c\u0259 olaraq macal tapmay\u0131b.<\/p>\n
Azya\u015fl\u0131n\u0131n t\u0259bii ki, fikri soru\u015fulmur, ona se\u00e7im haqq\u0131 verilmir. Bu qad\u0131nlar \u0259vv\u0259l valideynl\u0259ri, sonra \u0259rl\u0259ri t\u0259r\u0259find\u0259n k\u00f6l\u0259 olma\u011fa m\u0259hkum edilirl\u0259r. Bel\u0259 evlilik valideyn\u0259 d\u0259 s\u0259rf edir. \u201cN\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r ki, g\u00f6z\u00fc a\u00e7\u0131lmay\u0131b, ba\u015f-g\u00f6z etm\u0259k laz\u0131md\u0131r\u201d, dey\u0259n valideyn q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131 \u0259r\u0259 verdikd\u0259n sonra art\u0131q m\u0259suliyy\u0259t da\u015f\u0131m\u0131r. \u201c\u00d6z\u00fc bil\u0259r, \u0259ri bil\u0259r\u201d. \u018fsas odur ki, b\u0259kar\u0259tini hifz edib sa\u011f-salamat \u0259r evin\u0259 g\u00f6nd\u0259r\u0259 bilib.<\/p>\n
N\u0259tic\u0259d\u0259 d\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc, ist\u0259kl\u0259rini, arzular\u0131n\u0131 do\u011fru-d\u00fcr\u00fcst m\u00fc\u0259yy\u0259nl\u0259\u015fdir\u0259 bilm\u0259mi\u015f q\u0131z t\u0259hsil almaq \u0259v\u0259zin\u0259 bir ki\u015finin qollar\u0131na at\u0131l\u0131r. Bel\u0259c\u0259, bakir\u0259liyi ona baha-ba\u015fa g\u0259lir.<\/p>\n
M\u00fct\u0259x\u0259ssisl\u0259rin q\u0259rar\u0131 bel\u0259dir ki, b\u0259kar\u0259t tabusunu ancaq cinsi maarifl\u0259nm\u0259 il\u0259 a\u015fmaq olar. H\u0259r k\u0259s \u00f6z s\u0259rh\u0259dl\u0259rini \u00f6z\u00fc m\u00fc\u0259yy\u0259n etm\u0259li v\u0259 \u00f6z q\u0259rar\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6z\u00fc ver\u0259 bilm\u0259lidir.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Erk\u0259n nikahlarda b\u0259kar\u0259t amili Erk\u0259n evlilikl\u0259rin bir s\u0259b\u0259bi d\u0259 b\u0259kar\u0259t tabusuyla ba\u011fl\u0131d\u0131r. Valideyn q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131n b\u0259kar\u0259tinin \u0259ld\u0259n getm\u0259sind\u0259n qorxaraq tez-t\u0259l\u0259sik onu \u0259r\u0259 verm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131r. Bel\u0259 ifad\u0259l\u0259ri tez-tez e\u015fidirik: \u201cGec\u0259 vaxt\u0131 k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xma, q\u0131z u\u015fa\u011f\u0131san\u201d, \u201cAx\u015fama d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259, q\u0131z u\u015fa\u011f\u0131san, ba\u015f\u0131na bir i\u015f g\u0259l\u0259r\u201d v\u0259 s. Bu s\u00f6zl\u0259rd\u0259n bu n\u0259tic\u0259y\u0259 g\u0259lm\u0259k olar ki, valideyn q\u0131z\u0131ndan \u00e7ox onun b\u0259kar\u0259tinin qay\u011f\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u0259kir. Bel\u0259 \u00e7\u0131x\u0131r, evli qad\u0131n gec\u0259 vaxt\u0131 k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xa bil\u0259r, t\u0259cav\u00fcz\u0259 tu\u015f g\u0259l\u0259 bil\u0259r, nec\u0259 olsa, b\u0259kar\u0259tini itirm\u0259k kimi bir problemi yoxdur. Sosioloqun \u201cb\u0259kar\u0259t problemi aradan qald\u0131r\u0131lmal\u0131d\u0131r\u201d yaz\u0131s\u0131ndan sonra \u0259n az\u0131 m\u00fczakir\u0259 xarakterli r\u0259yl\u0259rin…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":77187,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"gutentor_comment":0,"rttpg_featured_image_url":{"full":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/1567746850_1567094575_9d7927670c4b648a4c743f3bb2cfd584.jpg",531,347,false],"landscape":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/1567746850_1567094575_9d7927670c4b648a4c743f3bb2cfd584.jpg",531,347,false],"portraits":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/1567746850_1567094575_9d7927670c4b648a4c743f3bb2cfd584.jpg",531,347,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/1567746850_1567094575_9d7927670c4b648a4c743f3bb2cfd584-150x150.jpg",150,150,true],"medium":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/1567746850_1567094575_9d7927670c4b648a4c743f3bb2cfd584-300x196.jpg",300,196,true],"large":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/1567746850_1567094575_9d7927670c4b648a4c743f3bb2cfd584.jpg",531,347,false],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/1567746850_1567094575_9d7927670c4b648a4c743f3bb2cfd584.jpg",531,347,false],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/1567746850_1567094575_9d7927670c4b648a4c743f3bb2cfd584.jpg",531,347,false],"post-thumbnail":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/1567746850_1567094575_9d7927670c4b648a4c743f3bb2cfd584-240x172.jpg",240,172,true],"advps-thumb-one":["https:\/\/arantv.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/1567746850_1567094575_9d7927670c4b648a4c743f3bb2cfd584.jpg",531,347,false]},"rttpg_author":{"display_name":"V\u00fcsal Rafiqo\u011flu","author_link":"https:\/\/arantv.az\/?author=2"},"rttpg_comment":0,"rttpg_category":"C\u0259miyy\u0259t<\/a>","rttpg_excerpt":"Erk\u0259n nikahlarda b\u0259kar\u0259t amili Erk\u0259n evlilikl\u0259rin bir s\u0259b\u0259bi d\u0259 b\u0259kar\u0259t tabusuyla ba\u011fl\u0131d\u0131r. 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